1. Let's get the obvious out of the way: Nobody else knows where the fuck Peterborough is.
2. This means you end up lying and saying you're from Cambridge.
3. But if you're talking to a northerner, you may as well admit defeat and save time by saying you're from London.
4. If people do know where Peterborough is, they call it a shit hole.
5. Peterborough can't be shit anyway because it now has a Nando's and a Primark.
It's a city on the up.