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Chocolate? Vanilla? A third flavor? The answer will DEFINITELY surprise you.

What Ice Cream Flavor Are You?

Do you do Yoga?

What's your favorite season?

Do you like your hair short or long?

What's the Best Harry Potter Movie?

The TTP in its current form is detrimental to the American economy.

What's your ideal first date?

What planet is the best planet?

You need to stop telling jokes all the time. You're not Jerry Seinfeld. You're not even Ray Romano. Your constant need to perform is more alienating than endearing. Try to think back to the last time someone enthusiastically invited you on a social outing. Are you sure you weren't just in the room when they were inviting the people they actually like? Your inability to tell the difference between a genuine smile of approval and a pained grimace of waning patience is a valuable survival mechanism. Cherish it.

Cake Batter

You just got back from Hilton Head, but you're gonna make your roommates buy one-ply toilet paper because you "don't want to ask for any more money." You justify siphoening rent money from your parents by saying you're an artist, while simultaneously writing memoirs about the emotional trauma of your childhood. Why don't you thank your parents for matching your damn kickstarter? Deep down you fear that even with all the priviledges, entitlements, and advantages in the world, you'll still amount to nothing. Your death will mark the lifting of a black cloud hanging over the lives of your entire family. But that gingham looks great!

Coffee

You are a white power enthusiast. Deep anger flashes on your face whenever you even hear about the accomplishments of minorities. Your soul is empty and bleak, and there is no version of heaven in any religion that will accept you. Get a job.

Chocolate

If you sunk even half the energy you spend on curating the photo order of your tinder profile on an even slightly substantial relationship, maybe you wouldn't seem so desparate all the time. You're hoping to get the "best" ice cream flavor in this quiz, because you rely on meaningless trophies to balance out an otherwise detestable personality. Ironically, every time you open your mouth to talk about some "project" you're working on, you reveal just how pathetically mediocre and underdeveloped your life is. The only thing people will remember about you is the pit in their stomach that forms when you enter a room. Also, stop wearing Raybans, you look like a douchebag.

Cherry

You convinced a psychiatrist to diagnose you with depression, but is your inability to accomplish even the most basic tasks a result of a chemical imbalance, or a deep seated sense of entitlement? You drag down the credability of a legitimate mental disorder to justify your profound laziness. No, you do not need to go on a meditation retreat in Thailand. You'll never feel the joy of finishing your novel, BUT your friends will feel the joy of hearing you complain about "how hard it is to write" for as long as they can stomach being around you. (Not much longer.)

Sea Salt Caramel

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What Ice Cream Flavor Are You?

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