1.
when your colleagues ask how your weekend was after a big one x
2.
I just called RSPCA to tell them I've found four badgers in a suitcase by side of the road. Operator: "Are they moving?" Me: "Oh I never thought of that. It would certainly explain the suitcase." I feel silly now.
3.
The lad at your work by the sounds of it mate https://t.co/wicLZg2QTE
4.
Tips for those of you about to start working from home... 1) Wanking. Get to love it. 2) lunch. It’s a big thing. Your entire day will hinge around this. 3) The Postman. They will appear when you are wanking. 4) Radio on ok. TV on bad. 5) Wanking.
5.
and here ya have it, the north east is the greatest place on earth
6.
Sad to hear that, once again, Oxford University has refused to host my mum's two-hour talk: 'The Film Stuart Little Is Stupid Because Why Would You Go To Adopt A Child And Come Back With A Mouse (Even If He Can Talk)'. No platforming at its worst, an intolerance for new ideas.
7.
God bless Americans. Skye this weekend.
8.
Line of Duty
9.
Just want to let everyone know that Doctors has a storyline where a woman thinks everyone she meets is Joe Pasquale. And Joe Pasquale is playing all the characters. Working from home is going well.
10.
me: cares for the baby every second of every day, stays up all night when he fails to sleep, feeds him, clothes him, tends to his every need the baby: dada
11.
My friend's boss received a link to an article from his friend saying the London Underground has been shut down for 3 weeks and forwarded it to the entire office before realising that it was a fake article that links to a picture of a naked man
12.
Remember GCSE art exams? I swear art students were stuck in that exam for like 3 days with no food, water or sleep.
13.
is there any wonder am such a freak when i used to watch shit like this in my peak crucial learning age jesus christ https://t.co/odZMRtmHqy
14.
a student I used to teach is now a signed drill rapper. Now I'm attentively listening to his music for any 'my teacher said I won't be shit' lyrics ....cos I too will pull up to studio
15.
My head gives me random dares like I’ll be walking and the voices in my head are like ‘I bet you can’t reach that lampost before that car does.’ YES I CAN
16.
Sobbing
17.
At Darcy’s 21st theres a video of her getting her cake and everyone singing happy birthday and in the back u hear her cousin screaming “get your titssss out” and then her Aunty saying “josh! That’s your cousin”
18.
Sharon.avi