1.
Day 2 of isolation. Kids coping better than me. Very happy to email anyone who wants it a copy of the essential document I needed to draft this am
2.
Isolation’s going well
3.
As I sit in isolation for hours, planning to keep a safe distance from my family, I hear them outside the door, shouting words of encouragement. Like my kids saying, "Make us breakfast!" And my wife adding, "GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM. YOU AREN'T SICK!"
4.
This quarantine would be so much cooler if I could just chill and do whatever I want but no my kids insist on making me play pup and pound 23 hours a day, I want to play grand theft auto
5.
I was reading this book this morning, and my kids just got offended... maybe now is not the right time to read any books with such a title...
6.
When people ask me what I'm going to binge-watch during isolation: My kids. I'm binge-watching my kids because I'm at home now. All. The. Time.
7.
Today my kids started chanting “two men enter, one man leaves”. This isolation is getting fucking dark.
8.
“I was going to get some work done during the kids’ nap time but then I took a nap myself.” Memoir of a parent in quarantine.
9.
QUARANTINE = NO GYM!! 🏋🏼♂️ ((Use Your Kids!!)) 💪🏻
10.
My 8 year old daughter just yelled “Oh no the toilet is smoking!!” My wife and I ran to the bathroom to find this. It’s just day 4 of home school.
11.
My kids are in the zombie makeup tutorial phase of the quarantine.
12.
Quarantine without kids = staycation Quarantine with kids = hostage situation
13.
parents: little kids when all the schools are closed and they've been in quarantine for exactly two (2) hours:
14.
I spent half and hour hiding toys and writing riddles as clues to the next toy. The kids found them all in 10 minutes. This is going to be a LONG ass quarantine...
15.
7am on a school day Me: Kids time to get up and get ready for school. Kids: NO! I'm tired, you suck, go away! 6:30am During isolation from school Kids: Time to get up and get ready for our fight club! Me:NO! I'm tired, you guys suck, go away!
16.
5yo: "when I have lunch at school, there is always a dessert. I want to check that you know that."