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25 Passive Aggressive Things To Buy Your Horrible, No Good Roommate

Moving into a new dorm (or apartment) can be exciting! But it's less exciting when you meet your new roommate and it turns out they have no regard for human life.

We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

1. A nice mug so they'll finally stop stealing yours.,

Get the double dog mug for $16.99 or the dick mug for $13.56 (also available in douche, kiss, twat, and up yours) from Amazon.

2. An apology notepad because your roommate has A LOT to apologize for.

It comes with 50 sheets, so it'll last longer than your patience.

Get it from Amazon for $5.99.

3. Some headphones so they can enjoy their music without subjecting you to it.

Promising review: "I'm a college student living in noisy dorms and I need to cancel out the noise from the annoying people that I live with. These do a great job providing an insane amount of volume and good bass at a good price. At the highest volume, they could even be low volume speakers. Great investment and haven't broken in the four months I've had them." —Leonna T

Get them from Amazon for $14.99 (available in three colors).

4. A door silencer to ensure you never have to hear another door slam ever again.

Get it from Amazon for $15.95 (available in 13 colors).

5. An educational book that'll show your roommate how to better themselves.

Get it from Amazon for $13.91, Barnes & Noble for $14.49, Firebox for $17, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

6. Or a more subtle jab for the fledgling gardener who leaves soil all over your new carpet.

Get it from Amazon for $19.99, Barnes & Noble for $19.99, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

7. A key finder to lower the amount of times you have to come and let them back in when they lose their keys.

Promising review: "My roommate loses her keys all the time in the house. She loves her Christmas gift. If she loses her phone too...well then I guess she's shit out of luck!" —Theresa Nguyen

Get it from Amazon for $18.48.

8. A privacy tent so they can do their weird thing without you having to be a part of it.

Promising review: "I used this my freshman year of college in the dorms because I had to share a room. This probably saved whatever dignity I had left. It's great for giving you privacy in places you don't get much of that. Held up great and was great at blocking out light." —Autumn

Get it from Amazon for $129.99 (available in sizes twin–queen and six colors).

9. A smart wall outlet that connects to wi-fi to prevent more arguments about turning off the lights at night.

Promising review: "This product works perfectly! I personally use it for a Scentsy wax heater in my dorm room (of all things, I know). With the use of IFTTT, I can tell my Google Assistant (accessible via my Google Home or mobile app) to turn it on for me... Love it!" —DoubleDTVx2

Get it from Amazon for $29.99.

10. A grooming apron to help get the hair into the trash instead of all over the sink.

Promising review: "This product is great for so many reasons. The hairy gentleman can really benefit. This design catches all excess hair and provides a quick cleanup, so the wife is happy." —MC Hammer

Get it from Amazon for $29.99 (available in two colors).

11. A pair of zombie slippers so you can fantasize about monsters nibbling on their feet.

Get them from ThinkGeek for $16.99 or Amazon for $18.92.

12. An anti-snoring spray to help you finally get a full night's sleep.

Promising review: "This stuff is AWESOME! Just ask my wife. Because of a snoring problem, I have been using this for quite some time. I spray two squirts before going to sleep and my wife says now I don't snore at all. This has got to be the best stuff on the market for people like me, who keep their spouse awake at night. I was the biggest sceptic of all, but this really does work." —Randy Chenoweth

Get it from Amazon for $19.97.

13. An adorable mini vacuum almost cute enough to look like a toy — a toy they better play with.

Promising review: "As a designer, I'm constantly drawing... it leads to a lot of eraser shavings. Across my paper, across my desk, in between pages, all over the floor, the eraser shavings are endless. Add in the dust and fibers from fabric and you can imagine the mess. I have an unreasonable hate for regular vacuum cleaners (because of the smell and noise) but I am in love with this thing. It has been picking up all the eraser shavings, fabric bits, dust, and crumbs with no problems. The noise is around the same level as a small desk fan one might use in the office (so it is definitely safe for quick sweeps across the desk during the work day without irritating coworkers)." —Hana

Get it from Amazon for $6.99 (comes in a random color).

14. A heart mirror to give to the vain roommate who's always hogging the bathroom.

Get it from Urban Outfitters for $49.

15. A light hanger so they can get dressed in the morning without turning on all the overhead lights and waking you up. It'll also encourage them to, umm, actually pick their clothes off the floor.

It lights up with the press of a button. It's bright enough to get dressed but dim enough not to wake anyone up.

Get it from Firebox for $32.49.

16. A dish towel with a small request for your lazy roommate.

Get it from AnOccasionalDesign on Etsy for $12.

17. An impossible, all-white puzzle sure to keep them busy and out of your hair for a while.

Get it from Amazon for $18.42 or pre-order from Firebox for $28.29.

18. An odor absorbing pouch that'll soak up all those mysterious smells coming from their closet.

Promising review: "I originally bought a couple of these for my son's dorm room and ended up buying some for myself. I use one in our bathroom which had a damp smell I could never get rid of. One of these took care of it in a couple of days. You have to remember to put them in the sun about once a month to recharge them." —saran wrap

Get it from Amazon for $9.94.

19. A handy duster you can bestow on them as a not-so-subtle encouragement to finally clean their side of the room.

The starter kit comes with a handle and five dusters.

Get it from Amazon for $4.47 (with prime).

20. A pair of duster slippers so they can actually do some cleaning for a change while they're shuffling around.

Promising review: "I buy mopping slippers. Yup, that's right. This isn't my first pair. So why do I like mopping slippers? I have a 2-year-old and they're great for mopping up little splashes. The extra padding is nice. No paper towels wasted and it's immediate. Plus these are cute. You have to have a sense of whimsy for this functional novelty item." —G. Kim

Get them from Amazon for $11.59 (available in 12 styles).

21. A fridge drawer to keep things organized, aka to make sure they stop hogging all the fridge space.

Promising review: "We moved into a house that had a refrigerator that was missing a cheese/deli drawer. Our fridge was a disorganized mess. Replacing the original drawers would have been expensive. I ordered a large and extra large. These are perfect and sturdy." —jogabelle

Get it from Amazon for $16.99+ (available in three sizes).

22. A foldable drying rack so they can stop hanging their wet clothes all over the bathroom.

Promising review: "Decent quality, decent price, larger drying rack. This rack is likely perfect for college dorms. It's a larger rack, making it easier to accommodate larger items or quantities of clothing and is built fairly well. It gets the job done, but isn't stellar in any way. Perhaps one day I'll upgrade, but for now this gets the job done perfectly fine for me." —Hans Tercek

Get it from Amazon for $25.15.

23. A gap cover that'll prevent crumbs from slipping in between spaces, since we both know your roommate will never stop eating at their desk.

Promising review: "I am in love! I know it's silly to be so happy about gap covers but I am. I'm so glad I found these! They work so well. They fit right into that gap between my counter and stove. They are super soft and malleable. I cut them to customize the size. Best purchase ever." —Faina

Get it from Amazon for $12.95 (available in two colors).

24. A tub shroom to help catch hairs before they go down the drain and illustrate just how hairy things have gotten since they moved in.

Promising review: "Works great. Is perfect for a dorm, much easier than unclogging the drain." —Maddy Bennett

Get it from Amazon for $12.95 (available in six colors).

25. And a natural deodorant that's pretty enough to seem like a gift instead of plea to please, please, stop being so stinky.

See BuzzFeed's full review.

Promising reviews: "Omg, wow is all I can say about this product. This is the ONLY antiperspirant/deodorant that I've ever used that actually works!!! I work 12-plus hours daily and by the end of the day, I still smell like NOTHING! There is at first a lemony sweet smell that disappears within 10 minutes and then NOTHING! No B.O., no nasty deodorant smell when you're sweating...just NOTHING!" —sa87

Get it from Sephora for $19.

And now we wait and see if they actually use it.


Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides!

Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed

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