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25 Passive Aggressive Things To Buy Your Horrible, No Good Roommate

Moving into a new dorm (or apartment) can be exciting! But it's less exciting when you meet your new roommate and it turns out they have no regard for human life.

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1. A nice mug so they'll finally stop stealing yours.

2. An apology notepad because your roommate has A LOT to apologize for.

3. Some headphones so they can enjoy their music without subjecting you to it.

4. A door silencer to ensure you never have to hear another door slam ever again.

5. An educational book that'll show your roommate how to better themselves.

6. Or a more subtle jab for the fledgling gardener who leaves soil all over your new carpet.

7. A key finder to lower the amount of times you have to come and let them back in when they lose their keys.

8. A privacy tent so they can do their weird thing without you having to be a part of it.

9. A smart wall outlet that connects to wi-fi to prevent more arguments about turning off the lights at night.

10. A grooming apron to help get the hair into the trash instead of all over the sink.

11. A pair of zombie slippers so you can fantasize about monsters nibbling on their feet.

12. An anti-snoring spray to help you finally get a full night's sleep.

13. An adorable mini vacuum almost cute enough to look like a toy — a toy they better play with.

14. A heart mirror to give to the vain roommate who's always hogging the bathroom.

15. A light hanger so they can get dressed in the morning without turning on all the overhead lights and waking you up. It'll also encourage them to, umm, actually pick their clothes off the floor.

16. A dish towel with a small request for your lazy roommate.

17. An impossible, all-white puzzle sure to keep them busy and out of your hair for a while.

18. An odor absorbing pouch that'll soak up all those mysterious smells coming from their closet.

19. A handy duster you can bestow on them as a not-so-subtle encouragement to finally clean their side of the room.

20. A pair of duster slippers so they can actually do some cleaning for a change while they're shuffling around.

21. A fridge drawer to keep things organized, aka to make sure they stop hogging all the fridge space.

22. A foldable drying rack so they can stop hanging their wet clothes all over the bathroom.

23. A gap cover that'll prevent crumbs from slipping in between spaces, since we both know your roommate will never stop eating at their desk.

24. A tub shroom to help catch hairs before they go down the drain and illustrate just how hairy things have gotten since they moved in.

25. And a natural deodorant that's pretty enough to seem like a gift instead of plea to please, please, stop being so stinky.

And now we wait and see if they actually use it.

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