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    32 Things To Make People Think You're An Expert Gardener

    Everyone is gonna be so impressed.

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    1. Cloning paste that can be applied to any nodes on the stem of your plant to promote new growth. So see that leggy plant over there that's all stem, no bushy leaves? This fancy goo can help! It's made for orchids (hence the name; the keiki is a plant produced asexually by an orchid plant) but works on a variety of plants, like begonias.

    left: reviewer's orchid with many buds right: the buds have now bloomed into a shocking amount of flowers, i think over 20

    2. 40 Projects for Building Your Backyard Homestead — a bestselling guide to help you "live off the land," aka build chicken coops, grow produce, mend fences, etc. Your Stardew Valley dreams can become a reality!

    the cover

    3. A plant vitamin solution to reduce transplant shock and help your plants grow strong roots.

    week 2: small roots week 3: slightly longer roots week 4: even longer roots

    4. A pack of faux-brick edging offering an easy-to-install border for your garden.

    A person installing the faux brick edges

    5. A padded kneeler to keep your precious knees feeling comfortable and supported. It even flips into a seat and has a built-in bag to store your gardening tools. Consider it a whole gardening station in one.

    Model kneeling on the pad while using a trowel

    6. A pack of Miracle-Gro water storing crystals that'll prevent both under- *and* over-watering, which I believe are the top two killers of plants.

    7. A drinking-water safe hose so you can finally relate to all the memes your parents post online about drinking out of the water hose. This is also great for your edible garden!

    The white hose

    8. A gathering tote that doubles as a colander so you don't have to worry about bringing in unwanted dirt from your garden. Just throw in your harvest, spray with a hose, shake, and enjoy your newly cleaned produce.

    9. A pack of green plant stakes and plant tape that'll attach them so your plants can keep growing vertically without putting too much pressure on their delicate stems.

    10. A hose timer for anyone looking for timed sprinkler sessions without the fancy sprinkler cost. Just set the time and it'll turn on automatically to help your thirsty plants.

    The timer, which has an LED display screen and a dial to program when you want it to run

    11. Clay pebbles to absorb water and nutrients. They ensure good aeration, prevent excess acidity, and thwart root rot.

    burnt orange colored pebbles with a plant's roots grabbing hold of them

    12. A soil test kit capable of measuring your soil's moisture and pH levels *and* how much sun you're getting. Knowing what you're working with is the first step to a bountiful harvest or thriving flowers.

    The meter sitting in the dirt

    13. A pack of ringed plant stakes that'll keep your leggy bois standing tall. It's ideal for plants that tend to slouch, like roses, lilies, sunflowers, minimas, and orchids.

    stake with loop at top keeps bulb plant straight up

    14. A bar of vegan gardener's soap fortified with cornmeal to be tough on dirt but gentle on hands.

    off white hand cut soap

    15. Classic glass bulbs that'll slowly water your plant over time, so you don't have to hesitantly hover over your plants with a watering can wondering if you poured enough.

    blue glass orb on long stem in plant

    16. Or a trio of garden critters happy to step in and water your plants while you're out and about.

    17. Cast-iron vegetable markers so you can easily find your tomatoes and feel like a legit farmer to boot.

    enamel-style plant stakes with names and illustrations

    18. A handle attachment you can use with shovels, rakes, brooms, or any other long-handled tools to help put less strain on your back. The new handle means less hunching over your garden.

    The attachment, which has a handle grip, attached to a shovel

    19. A nontoxic disposable hanging fly trap, a gross but effective away to rid your garden of those annoying buzzing jerks. Just throw away the bag when it's full.

    Reviewer photo of the bag, which is filled with flies

    20. Some Irish Spring soap to deter pesky wildlife from sneaking bites out of your vegetable garden. Just cube the bars and spread it around the garden in mesh bags. Humans may like the smell, but pests certainly don't.

    The soap

    21. A pair of garden gloves with claws so you can pretend to be a lil' badger and quickly dig holes and break up dirt clumps.

    22. A pair of leaf scoops that may look silly, but are super useful for grabbing big scoopfuls of leaves and debris.

    Model holding the scoops and transferring a large handful of leaves into a trash can

    23. A pair of Blueapples to soak up ethylene gas and keep your produce fresh. What does this have to with plants, you ask? Well, once it's time to replace the contents of the apples, you can dump the used powder into your plants as plant food. A waste-free solution!

    a reviewer's before and after that shows a close up of an ivy plant that's brown with small leaves and then the same ivy looking fuller and greener

    24. A tulip garden stake so you can enjoy spring flowers no matter the season. Every good garden has some charming decor, after all.

    wooden tulips

    25. A flexible, lightweight hose that'll be so much easier to work with than wrangling a traditional hose. Why are those things so darn heavy?

    hand holds pile of hose with a spray nozzle

    26. A garden kit with everything you need to plant flowers that are said to attract HUMMINGBIRDS! Who doesn't want a visit from a few tiny, speedy birds?

    cardboard box with hummingbird on it next to biodegradable pots, markers, and seeds

    27. A planter insert for pots missing that oh-so important drainage hole. These provide proper drainage so your plants don't get root rot while also getting rid of the need for a drainage dish.

    The orange planter insert in a planter

    28. A durable knife you can wield while accomplishing all your gardening chores, like weeding, digging, pruning, or harvesting. Coolest of all, it has a ruler for easy measuring.

    knife with measurements on it

    29. A classic weeder tool that'll make weeding an easier process for you and your back. Instead of bending over to tug on stubborn intruders, locate the center of the weed with the claw and pull.

    Weeder tool with weed

    30. A Seeding Square kit so you know exactly where to plant your lil' plant babies without them being overcrowded.

    Seeding square kit being used outdoors

    31. A spinning compost bin that'll work to balance your scraps and help them compost in as little as two weeks. Just turn it five or six times every two or three days, then bam! Homemade fertilizer for your garden.

    A black composter on metal legs

    32. A watering can with an attached sprayer so you can hydrate your plant top to bottom with one handy device.

    Look at you, the pro gardener!