1.
You're so wound up.......let me help you relax.....
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 18, 2010
2.
Weezus.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) December 23, 2013
3.
Man, those Cheez-its really hit the spot.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) June 13, 2010
4.
Do you have any idea how great you are?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) June 19, 2010
5.
Don't want to kill the ants in my kitchen sink so I'm severely bumming them out with some peppermint oil.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) November 29, 2010
6.
Could you be any hotter?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) August 4, 2010
7.
King of toiletries.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) July 9, 2010
8.
Are horses ticklish?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) June 1, 2010
9.
I know they're not doing it for my benefit, but I want to thank the birds for singing so sweetly every morning.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) April 17, 2014
10.
Do any guys actually use the wiener flap on their underwear or is it just kind of symbolic?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) August 9, 2011
11.
Who wants a body massage?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) November 21, 2013
12.
OMG, is "Nickleback" a play on "quarterback"?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) June 24, 2010
13.
Was out of body wash today so I used tea tree oil shampoo instead and it tingled my private parts.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) April 28, 2011
14.
Helping people procrastinate since 1994.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) January 7, 2011
15.
Exhausted from eating my breakfast so I'm going back to bed.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) September 5, 2010
16.
Can you please respond to my snapchats?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) April 14, 2014
17.
I hate it when my nipples get erect.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) June 6, 2010
18.
No offense, but u r really hot.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) September 23, 2010
19.
Do trees ever get tired?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) June 10, 2010
20.
We're all just trying to attract each other.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) September 16, 2013
21.
You can't be brave unless you're scared.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) October 17, 2010
22.
Aren't grapes "grapefruit"?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 3, 2011
23.
Are you the lead singer of Weezer?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) December 10, 2013
24.
We could do good things together.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) June 15, 2011
25.
Donut disturb.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) December 6, 2013
26.
I wonder if I'll die with my glasses on.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) July 1, 2011
27.
Met a guy named "Brooks" the other day and was bummed that he didn't seem excited when I told him my name was "Rivers."
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 4, 2011
28.
You're prettier than you think you are.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) September 25, 2011
29.
I need somebody to rub my sartorius muscle.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 22, 2011
30.
I've never seen a bird's penis.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) July 27, 2011
31.
Does anyone want anything from Starbucks?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) February 10, 2014
32.
Does anyone love anyone as much as I love you?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) October 5, 2010
33.
Everyone you see is made entirely out of what they ate.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) July 6, 2011
34.
when I take an ice bath, I pouch my privates with a washcloth so as to minimize the unpleasantness.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 15, 2011
35.
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) April 1, 2011
36.
Get fresh with me.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 11, 2011
37.
I've been really productive today in terms of mucus.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) December 21, 2013
38.
How's your toilet posture?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) April 26, 2011
39.
I'm good looking.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 24, 2011
40.
Peanut butter and KY jelly.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) September 1, 2013
41.
Defeated by my own technology.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) August 17, 2010
42.
I wish we could just make out.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 4, 2011
43.
I don't know about the rest of ya'll, but I've got a drawer full of dead mice.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) September 5, 2013
44.
Pizza.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) October 8, 2011
45.
If I die, will you still follow me?
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) August 17, 2011
46.
Feel like my nipples are getting more prominent.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) July 4, 2011
47.
That was some dope snack mix.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 30, 2011
48.
Let's make our lives nice.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) May 14, 2011
49.
I appreciate your feedback on my pants.
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) September 21, 2013
50.
Whenever I get confused about which way I should go next, I just ask myself, "What would Rivers Cuomo do?"
— Rivers Cuomo (@RiversCuomo) September 6, 2010
All photos taken by me on 9/12/14 @ Vina Robles Amphitheatre in Paso Robles, CA. All tweets by Rivers Cuomo. Rivers, can you please respond to my snapchats?
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