This Fact About Nice Biscuits Will Fuck You Up

Everything is a lie.

So last week I learnt something that fucked me up a bit. It was about this biscuit:

Hill Biscuits

I always called them "nice biscuits" – as in pleasant, likeable, nice.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed / Hill Biscuits

And it made sense because they are nice biscuits. They're slightly bland, but very pleasant.

BUT LAST WEEK I LEARNT THEY ARE NOT CALLED NICE BISCUITS, AS IN PLEASANT, LIKEABLE, NICE.

They are not.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed / Hill Biscuits

I KNOW.

The story goes that Queen Victoria took these pleasant, likeable, slightly bland but very nice biscuits to Nice on holiday, and thereafter they were known as "neece biscuits".

youtube.com

I can't get my head around it. Neece biscuit just doesn't sound right.

But the saddest thing about this whole affair is that it's ruined all the great jokes we used to be able to make:

Natalya Lobanova / BuzzFeed

Hehehe.

Now the joke has to be like:

Natalya Lobanova / BuzzFeed

🙁

Here in my office I'd say 80% of people have had their minds blown by this devastating revelation, while 20% were like, "Yeah, they're neece biscuits, I thought everyone knew that."