1. Peeling off a big piece of nail varnish in one go.
2. Scraping a really good chunk of dirt out from under your nail.
3. Crumbling off your mascara instead of using makeup remover.
4. Not flossing as a treat.
5. Wearing the same bra for several days (weeks?) and not giving a shit.
6. Smelling the clothes you wore yesterday and realising you can definitely wear them again.
7. Using dry shampoo instead of actual shampoo. For several days in a row.
8. Just washing your fringe, and everyone thinking you’ve got lovely clean hair.
9. Picking crumbs out of your bra…and, if you’re feeling really gross, eating them.
10. Finding something even better than crumbs in your bra, like popcorn. Yum.
11. Chilling out in front of the TV with your hands down your pants.
12. Running your fingers through your pubes in a nonsexual way.
13. Eating something that fell on the floor – three-second rule. Or is it five seconds?
14. Keeping a tampon in for slightly longer than you’re meant to.
15. Wrapping toilet paper round your pants instead of using a pad.
16. Picking dry skin of your lips.
17. Picking dry skin of your feet.
18. Weeing in the shower.
19. Weeing in the bath.
20. Cleaning your body with wet wipes instead of having a shower, meaning you can wake up later.
21. Eating food in bed.
22. Smelling your own farts.
23. Picking out your eye goop and marvelling at the size of it.
24. Getting a big bit of ear wax out of your ear.
25. Not bothering to wash your sports bra because it’s only going to get dirty again anyway.
26. Plucking out a really tough hair on your face, and putting it on your mirror like a hunting trophy.
27. Squeezing a whitehead and watching a really long pus worm wiggle out.
28. Squeezing a massive zit that hits the mirror.
29. Stroking a rogue chin hair.
30. Picking out an ingrown hair.
31. Staring in awe at all the gunk that comes out on a pore strip.
32. Waking up on Saturday, and going to the shops in your oldest, grubbiest clothes/pyjamas with no makeup and greasy hair. Also known as “grossery" shopping*.
33. Putting fresh makeup over yesterday’s makeup that you didn’t bother to clean off.
34. Smelling your armpits and being impressed by the scent.
35. Whacking new deodorant over old deodorant instead of having a shower.
36. Using perfume instead of having a shower.
37. Dusting your flakey scalp and watching the flakes fall like snow.
38. Scratching your scalp and getting lots of satisfying dead skin under your fingernails.
39. Warming your hands inside you bra by holding your boobs.
40. Picking weird dusty grey stuff out of your belly button.
41. Pulling out a particularly long, wiry pube that catches your attention.
42. Looking into the toilet to admire the size of your poo.
43. Belching louder than any guy.
44. Feeling proud when you do a really noisy fart.
45. Wearing makeup that you bought about 10 years ago.
46. Pulling hairs out of your bum crack in the shower.
47. Spreading your stray hairs on the shower wall.
48. Rolling stray hairs into little balls and throwing them in the vague direction of the bin, missing the bin, and leaving it.
49. Cutting your nails, and not paying attention to where they fly.