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23 Things Guaranteed To Ruin Every Londoner's Day

The bus driver turning off the engine.

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1. Getting stuck behind someone walking really, really slowly.

BBC

We are kind of awful, unsympathetic people tbh.

2. Running into a person you vaguely know on a quiet tube carriage.

If you're lucky they pretend they haven't seen you, and you pretend you haven't seen them, and you both live happily every after.
Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

If you're lucky they pretend they haven't seen you, and you pretend you haven't seen them, and you both live happily every after.

3. The prospect of trying to buy a house.

Millennials are so spoilt with their smartphones & tablets. All we had at their age was the ability to buy property in Central London.

Us greedy millenials!

4. Trying to find somewhere to rent.

Luxury accommodation to let in East London. Spacious double room, well ventilated, close to amenities. £1,500pcm.

Lots of fresh air and light which is nice.

5. Trying to get your career started.

You're expected to feel blessed if they offer to pay your tube fare.

6. Talking to someone who thinks people who live in London are fools.

londoner: hi northerner: hiGH like your house prices 😂😂 honestly you couldn't pay me to live in london 🙅🙅 enjoy your smog-infested bubble 👋🏻

So that's everyone who doesn't live in London, then.

7. This happening when you're on a bus:

#GrowingUpInLondon when some dickhead is arguing with the bus driver and the driver switches the engine off

8. Rush hour.

Yes I can imagine, what with the Enlightenment, the Industrial Revolution, and the constant wars in Europe

It can break the strongest among us.

9. Discovering a new frontier of gentrification.

I have stumbled into a West London nightmare

10. Falling victim to a hipster cafe's idea of appropriate seating.

Taken my family to wanky London coffee shop and they are NOT on board with the seating arrangement

11. Ordering a coffee in a trendy cafe, and it's served in a hipster vessel rather than just a cup.

My mate ordered a strong black coffee and I've never been so angry in all my life wtf even is this?

12. Your drink turning up in a jar.

Sign number one you are at a hipster restaurant. Beer in a mason jar.

13. Your food arriving not on a plate.

Twitter: @WeWantPlates / @LilMissCakes, Twitter: @bobgranleese

JUST GIVE US PLATES.

14. Inadvertantly touching a stranger on public transport

#GrowingUpInLondon when you accidentally touch someone's hand whilst trying to hold on to the pole on the tube & you get the death stare

15. Or, worse, a stranger trying to talk to you.

16. Being offered a seat when you're not pregnant, just bloated.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

17. Getting trapped in the tube gates.

Amazing! Photographer captures rare moment of a Londoner being born.

They shut so suddenly, they could slice you in two.

18. Catching sight of your reflection in the tube windows.

Natalya Lobanova / BuzzFeed

19. Manspreaders.

Instagram: @__dotty_

Alright, Jeff, you have a ball sack, we know, now put it away.

20. This thing happening:

BuzzFeed / Amblin Entertainment

21. The person in front of you not having their Oyster card ready when you get to the gates.

22. Missing getting your food in from the Big Tesco on Sunday, and having to rely on the small one which only sells crisps, biscuits, and punnets of quorn cocktail sausages.

AND ON EASTER SUNDAY JESUS DID RISE DECREEING THAT THE BIG TESCO MUST CLOSE IN HIS HONOUR BUT THE EXPRESS STORE CAN STAY OPEN FOR ESSENTIALS

23. A low-flying pigeon coming towards your face.

probably my fav story of 2017 @caitalexanderx