back to top

10 Terrible People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed On Public Transport

Ruining a perfectly good journey for the rest of us.

Posted on

1. The manspreader:

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

The manspreader has a dick. He really, really, REALLY needs you to know this. His legs are spread at a 90 degree angle at all times so you can see what a big dick he is has. It also ensures his balls stay nice and cool so he can successfully procreate and produce many more little manspreaders who can ruin public transport for generations to come.

2. The fanspreader:

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Female variant of the manspreader. Has the potential to reveal an unsavoury flash of gusset if she is wearing a skirt. Particularly unpleasant when her clammy bare thighs brush against you in the summer.

3. Massive suitcase and family:

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Usually positioned in front of the door to guarantee that they obstruct as many people as possible. Every now and then the case will topple over and crush someone’s foot.


7. The girls night out:

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Kind of fun at first: a big gaggle of girls screeching about sex is a welcome distraction from reading another bloody Wellman vitamins advert. As soon as they start bantering with strangers or having a wee it’s time to get off.

8. The Silent But Deadly:

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Pack 100 people into a confined space and sooner or later one of them will let off. No matter who is responsible, the whole carriage will silently blame one suspicious-looking man – and to be fair it probably was him.

10. The germ factory:

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Coughing and spluttering but soldiering on, heading into work even though they should be in bed, passing their cold onto everyone else like a favourite box set. They actually smell ill – like Lockets and snot. Avoid at all costs.