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27 Slightly Terrible Things That Happen Whenever You Go To Ikea

The meatballs are so very, very brown.

1. You'll promise to skip the showroom and go straight to the market hall for that cheap, essential thing you came for.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Just popping to Ikea to grab some Tupperware. I'll literally be in and out in 30 minutes.

2. You'll wonder how you ended up in the showroom suddenly. Oops, this wasn't meant to happen.

Twitter: @elsiefry

You will secretly want to live in the showroom, and then you will feel ashamed.

3. You will feel relaxed when you first arrive, with a warm glow of anticipation. This will give way to backache by the sofa section, and full-blown panic by the office chairs.

Chuck Lorre Productions /

So. Many. Chairs.

4. You will get lost in the showroom.

Warner Bros. /

And the market hall.

5. You will buy multiple quantities of something you don't need or possibly even want.

Twitter: @kitchenrocknrol

Spice jars! I've been meaning to dispense all my spice into proper jars for years. I'll DEFINITELY get around to doing that when I get in later.

6. You will buy a paper lampshade even though you already have a rejected one in the cupboard at home.

Just in case, you know, there's a sudden lampshade shortage.

7. You will buy a Billy bookcase in full knowledge that literally thousands of them are available on Freecycle or in skips all over the country.

BuzzFeed / Flickr: loopzilla / Flickr: kurafire / Creative Commons

Need it now though.

8. You will laugh childishly at the funny names.

Flickr: dpstyles / Creative Commons


9. You will need the loo but not be able to find it.

Twitter: @Mageeky90

Do not use the display loo, however tempted you are. Or maybe do use it and see what happens?

10. You will try out at least three office chairs even though you’re not looking for a new office chair.

11. You will eat meatballs.

Jesus fuck they're brown.

12. You will stare into the middle distance while eating meatballs in Ikea on Friday night and wonder at which precise point your life took such a wrong turn.


"Other people are out with friends now, laughing and drinking. Who needs friends and laughing and drinking anyway? Those petty days are behind me! Oh god."

13. You will have an argument with whoever you came to Ikea with.


"My back's hurting too, but you don't hear me moaning about it! Fine, I'll carry the massive yellow bag full of candles and plates. I don't know why I'm fucking moving in with you anyway."

14. You will accost literally anyone wearing yellow to ask for help in the vain hope they are staff.

Harpo Productions

"Please help me! Please!"

15. You will completely lose the plot at some point in the market hall.

Just need to focus and get through this.

16. You will leave with 23 things even though you only went in for one.

Oooh, I do really need one of those.

17. There will be no trolleys left in the warehouse, except for an apparently abandoned one full of stuff.

Flickr: travelstar

You will contemplate chucking the stuff out and taking the trolley, but chicken out at the last minute in case the person comes back.

18. You will wander the aisles in the warehouse in a state of exasperation looking for the apparently mythical location 23–6.

Creative Commons / Flickr: telemax

You will finally realise you passed it 10 times already and the essential thing that you need has sold out.

19. The staff won't know when they'll be getting any more in.

NBC Universal Television

Although according to the system there is one left in the store somewhere. But it could be literally anywhere.

20. You will race sweating back to the showroom in a desperate attempt to locate the item that you've now realised you simply cannot live without.


It will be mine. IT MUST BE MINE.

21. You'll officially go into a shopping frenzy.


Need. All. The. Things.

22. You'll get stuck behind this woman in the queue:

Just stockin' up on plug adaptors, y'know.

23. You will spend £££ even though everything was only like £1 each.

Studio Ghibli

How did that even happen?

24. Your teeth will cry.

Twitter: @cathbrodigan

But your belly will laugh gleefully.

Your belly will cackle like an evil madman.

25. You will leave with several new pencils that will add to the clutter in "the drawer where everything lives" in your kitchen.

Flickr: 8266966@N07 / Creative Commons

26. You'll marvel at the fact that you made it out of Ikea alive, and swear never to return.


Never. Again.

27. You'll renege on that promise immediately and admit the truth: that you bloody love Ikea and always will.

Charles M Schulz Creative Associates

💕 Swedish flat pack.

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