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27 Slightly Terrible Things That Happen Whenever You Go To Ikea

The meatballs are so very, very brown.

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1. You'll promise to skip the showroom and go straight to the market hall for that cheap, essential thing you came for.

Becky Barnicoat / BuzzFeed

Just popping to Ikea to grab some Tupperware. I'll literally be in and out in 30 minutes.

3. You will feel relaxed when you first arrive, with a warm glow of anticipation. This will give way to backache by the sofa section, and full-blown panic by the office chairs.

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5. You will buy multiple quantities of something you don't need or possibly even want.

Twitter: @kitchenrocknrol

Spice jars! I've been meaning to dispense all my spice into proper jars for years. I'll DEFINITELY get around to doing that when I get in later.

7. You will buy a Billy bookcase in full knowledge that literally thousands of them are available on Freecycle or in skips all over the country.

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12. You will stare into the middle distance while eating meatballs in Ikea on Friday night and wonder at which precise point your life took such a wrong turn.

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"Other people are out with friends now, laughing and drinking. Who needs friends and laughing and drinking anyway? Those petty days are behind me! Oh god."

13. You will have an argument with whoever you came to Ikea with.

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"My back's hurting too, but you don't hear me moaning about it! Fine, I'll carry the massive yellow bag full of candles and plates. I don't know why I'm fucking moving in with you anyway."

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17. There will be no trolleys left in the warehouse, except for an apparently abandoned one full of stuff.

Flickr: travelstar

You will contemplate chucking the stuff out and taking the trolley, but chicken out at the last minute in case the person comes back.

18. You will wander the aisles in the warehouse in a state of exasperation looking for the apparently mythical location 23–6.

Creative Commons / Flickr: telemax

You will finally realise you passed it 10 times already and the essential thing that you need has sold out.

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19. The staff won't know when they'll be getting any more in.

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Although according to the system there is one left in the store somewhere. But it could be literally anywhere.

20. You will race sweating back to the showroom in a desperate attempt to locate the item that you've now realised you simply cannot live without.

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