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28 Crap Little Things That Happen On British Train Journeys

It would've been cheaper to fly.

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1. You get up close and personal with your fellow commuters.

2. Like really personal. Smelling their armpits and cowering from their breath personal.

3. You spot some genius graffiti.

4. You contemplate the fact that it would've been cheaper to fly.

Lmao train prices London to Macclesfield for 2 people in 2 months time. Including railcard discount!😭 @VirginTrains

5. There'll be an obscene number of delays.

7. You'll spend a small fortune in the station cafe waiting for your delayed train.

8. You'll get very confused about all the separate tickets you have to show, and terrified you will lose one of them.

9. You'll look longingly at the tranquil haven of first class, but decide there's no way you're forking out for an upgrade.

10. Someone will talk loudly on their phone for the entire journey even though THIS IS THE QUIET COACH.

What's the point of a quiet coach? It's a quiet spot to make phone calls & let your children play! #virgintrains

11. You'll note the shit condition of the train carriage, and contrast it with the lavish price of your ticket.

Instagram: @mister

12. You won't get a window.

13. You'll spend a small fortune on alcohol to try to make the journey go quicker.

14. You'll have to fight through this crush to get to the toilets.

15. Every spare inch of space will be covered with people sitting on cases, on each other, on the floor – and they all will have spent £££ for the pleasure.

16. Someone will sit in the luggage rack.

17. There will be lads, and they will be loud.


18. You'll spend A LOT of time staring at this exact view.

Instagram: @willrimo

19. The toilets will smell ~interesting~.

20. And if they're not out of order, they'll be an absolute shithole.

21. Your table will be covered in miscellaneous sticky stains.

22. You'll buy a scalding cup of tea and burn the roof of your mouth.

23. You'll work your way through a shit-ton of these.

24. You'll try to make your M&S picnic a special occasion, but fundamentally it's just a soggy ham sandwich and warm lager consumed while staring at the back of a seat.

25. You'll get food envy when you spot another table's picnic consisting of several mini bottles of prosecco.

26. You'll get hungry and buy a toastie from the buffet car, but instantly regret it.

27. You'll fall asleep and get a crick in your neck.

28. You'll become convinced that all British trains have it in for you.

And tbh, they probably do.
Twitter: @MariaBarrett

And tbh, they probably do.