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"So this is what my vagina looks like."
No, staring too much. OK, how about with the mouth closed? Now you look weirdly constipated. Just a few more tries. You've taken 53 selfies so far. OK, that's fine, you'll delete them all once you've got the right shot. Nearly there. Nearly. Another one and that's it. Just one more...
Ugh, this filter's so basic. I can't believe it's edited my face like this. I miss my blobby nose and chunky jaw! Look at me now...my eyes are so big and shiny. My skin is so flawless and glowing. My hair is like golden silk, lit by the evening sun. I'll just save this shot. And maybe make it my Facebook profile. I don't like it! I hate it. I just think it's funny and pretty sexist tbh that they've turned me into such a beautiful princess.
If only they always looked that good.
"Too much?" you text to your sister or best friend from the H&M changing room. You want them to say "OMG no u look hot!", to give you permission to wear the animal print body-con that flashes your tits and thighs. Five minutes later they reply: "Ooh.. dunno. Not that flattering?"
Immediately deleted.
You contort your face as much as is humanly possible, sneering, frowning, showing gum, half closing an eye, shoving your face into your neck. Gorgeous.