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39 Gross Things Most Couples Do But Don't Talk About

The grosser you are, the deeper the love.

1. Checking each other’s noses for bogeys.

2. Checking their ears for wax.

3. Helping them get morning gunk out of their eye.

4. Squeezing their spot that’s in a hard-to-reach place.

5. Or squeezing one that’s not hard to reach, it just looks like fun.

6. Smelling each other’s armpits to check if they need a wash.

7. Smelling each other’s clothes to check if they need a wash.

8. Chatting to each other when one of you is having a wee.

9. Or if you’re really comfortable with each other, when one of you is having a poo.

10. Scraping the hairball out of the shower drain, knowing it’s got a mix of both your pubes in it.

11. Weeing in the shower that you both share.

12. Getting in their old bath water and washing your hair even though they’ve washed their bum in there.

13. Sharing a towel.

14. Sharing a toothbrush when one of you forgets yours on holiday.

15. Sharing a flannel.

16. Wearing their old T-shirt because it smells like them and that makes you happy.

17. Checking their teeth for food.

18. Eating dessert from the same spoon.

19. Licking your finger and rubbing some food off their face.

20. Showing them your nipple hair.

21. Pulling out a weird hair you find growing on their back.

22. Checking out a painful thing on their bumcheek and confirming it’s a spot.

23. Squeezing the bum spot if you’re really close to each other and nothing scares you.

24. Examining their foot to see if it’s a verruca.

25. Examining their foot to see if the peeling skin could be athlete’s foot.

26. Examining a strange rash elsewhere on their body, then searching hideous rashes on Google together, and deciding it’s either eczema or fungal, then rubbing coconut oil on it because hopefully that’ll help.

27. Cleaning up their sick when they’re too poorly/drunk to do it.

28. Kissing each other in the morning before you've brushed your teeth.

29. Having sex whether you’ve recently showered or not.

30. Helping them gouge out an ingrown hair.

31. Not flushing the toilet if it’s just a wee so you don’t waste water.

32. Leaving your nail clippings on the carpet, or on the side, in the bedroom you share.

33. Eating the chewing gum they just put in their mouth because it’s the last piece and they feel bad for taking it and want you to have it.

34. Shaving your pubes in front of each other.

35. Doing a stupid naked dance in front of each other.

36. Pulling your ugliest faces to impress each other.

37. Blowing out your belly to show them how bloated you are.

38. Wearing terrible, old underwear full of holes even when you’re seducing each other for sex.

39. Spending 12 hours on the sofa together in smelly old clothes, watching Netflix and eating junk food, and realising you’ve never been more in love.