7 Little Bikini Line Fixes For All You Ladies Out There

Time for a tidy up!

1. Lady shave

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Shaving, but for ladies! Invite the insects and animals of the garden to come in and sing with you as you go.

2. Man shave

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Pro tip: Men’s razors DO PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING AS LADY RAZORS. The only real difference is that man-shavers are usually silver or black instead of lady-friendly pink. They also release a special strength protein called alphamandrizine-1 when you touch them, which is scientifically proven to make you 57% more powerful. Why not give it a try?

3. Muff bouquet

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Girls love flowers, amirite? AND GIRLS HAVE MUFFS, AMIRITE? So what could be better than weaving flowers into your muff to distract from your bikini line? A pretty look for the beach.

4. Fashion

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Grow your muff, let it flow, let it blossom and bloom. Eventually you’ll have enough ~fabric~ to wear it as a pretty mid-length skirt. Pair with clogs and a bikini top to complete the look.

5. Hairy dog

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Get yourself a lovely, scruffy, hairy dog to take to the beach. The dog will need to be tall enough that its fur obscures your bikini line. Make sure you get a dog who likes swimming so you can still enjoy the sea!

6. Fake fur bikini

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So clever! So cosy. Fake fur bikinis were all the rage in The Flintstones, and style nods to the prehistoric era were all over the catwalks this year.

7. The power of the mind

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If a tree falls in a forest, and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound? No it doesn’t. And if a girl doesn’t care about her bikini line, does matter? NO IT DOESN'T! Much cheaper than a lady shave.