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    18 Beautiful Baby Names That Would Scar Your Child For Life

    Such a shame these are off-limits.

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    The way it rolls of the tongue. Chlamydia. Chlaa-myd-ee-aaaa. So pretty, but a really nasty STD as well, which pretty much rules it out.

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    It's so elegant, so grand, almost Shakespearean. Romeo's two best friends: Mercutio and Fellatio. Maybe in the far-distant future asexual robots can call their son this.

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    Aw, lil' Quim. Such a cute name for your hipster son. Also a vulgar term for the vagina, but whatevs.

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    It's like a mix of Virginia and Regina. Beautiful.

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    Wasn't she one of the daughters of King Lear?

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    Your daugher Hernia would be strong and self-posessed. She would be one of those cool people that sets trends, a natural born leader.

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    Another lovely name for a girl. Except for the whole weeping sores, holes-in-the-brain, sexually transmitted infection thing.

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    Your three beautiful daughters, Trinity, Chastity, and Puberty.

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    A modern reimagining of Chad.

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    Just a cool name with bags of attitude.

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    A classic-sounding name for your son. Perfect for fans of the name Simon who want something a little different.

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    Gorgeous. Actually comes from the Hawaiian for "heavenly flower".

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    Just so strong and beautiful.

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    Adorable for a boy, if it wasn't British slang for a penis.

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    You can imagine this working for boys and girls. Sounds like the hero of a Greek myth.

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    Lydia and Labia, your sweet twins.

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    A bit like Amos, but bummier.

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    She could be called Gen or Genny for short.

    H/T Christina Kenny and Simon Brooke