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18 Truly Upsetting Essex Problems

Fanx, I fink Saffend is laaavly.

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1. Thanks to TOWIE, everyone outside Essex thinks they know what you're like.

2. So you daren't mention that you do *sort of* know at least one of its stars.

3. Growing up in Essex meant experiencing the sickening pressure of getting into grammar school at 11.

4. And then having to beg your parents for a car at 17, because all your friends already had one.

"Yeah but what car do you drive?" #essexgirlproblems

Essex Girl Problems@EsxGirlProblemsFollow

"Yeah but what car do you drive?" #essexgirlproblems

8:16 PM - 26 Apr 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

5. Nobody believes there are actually lots of rich people in Essex.

Despite the fact that there are loads of entrepreneurs running businesses there.

6. Which is surprising, due to the sheer quantity of personalised number plates on the roads.

7. Wherever you go, people make fun of your accent.

This is spot on <img src=""><img src=""> @Essexgirls2

Laura Hoole@Laura__HooleFollow

This is spot on <img src=""><img src=""> @Essexgirls2

7:52 AM - 13 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

8. And assume you're someone's Personal Assistant.

Although, you probably have been a PA at some point in your life.

9. Or, if you're a man, a banker.

10. And everyone thinks you must be like Smithy and Pamela from Gavin and Stacey.

11. Whenever you say you're from Essex, someone shouts "white stilettos" at you.

Which is strange, because no one in Essex actually wears them.

12. Of course, they also assume you're stupid.

13. Socialising in Essex revolves around going to bars, pubs, clubs, and basically wherever serves booze.


Which is problematic if you hate crowds and fancy a night in with your cats.

14. Of course, when you go out, you have to pose for hundreds of photos.

Which is just exhausting.

15. And lots of people do nothing to dispel the stereotype, by choosing very Essex baby names.


Ophelia, Mia, Madison, Mason, Tyler, Teagan, Regan, Bailey, Riley, Aurora, Savannah, Braison, Romeo, Troy, Kai, Hayden, and Pandora, to name a few.

16. Southend seafront in the summer is a living hell because it's so busy and people wear too little clothing.

17. And every Saturday night, people park their souped-up cars there to compare them.

18. But, whatever people say, you'd rather be from Essex than Buckinghamshire.