14 Reasons Splitting The Bill Is An Absolute Nightmare
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1. It starts with the most awkward of pleasantries.
It's the first moment you really feel the, "Who's paying for this?" anxiety.
2. Once you get past that, there's always the question of a certain honored guest...
...who ate and drank more than everyone else.
3. Someone, bursting with pride about having hit the ATM earlier, says everyone should pay in cash.
"I knew this would happen," they smugly state.
4. But now the closest ATM is not... err... ideal.
It looks like it's from a time that you're surprised even had ATMs.
5. While the discussion of how to pay ensues, you realize you'll have to do math either way.
A daunting task.
6. You ask the server to split the bill when they walk by, but they act like they didn't hear you.
This isn't their first rodeo.
7. So everyone throws cards down in a fury, not fully agreeing to the idea but unsure of how to proceed.
It's like signing up for a timeshare that you don't really want, but you want the seller to stop talking to you.
8. BOOM: FIVE-CARD MAXIMUM.
♫"What now?"♫ Rihanna once asked.
9. Two people use the time of chaos to assert power. Everyone else watches their back-and-forth bickering.
It's how every great revolution began.
10. The server returns demanding answers, and everyone feels their lingering presence.
Back with a vengeance.
11. Someone decides that writing an essay of instructions on the back of the receipt is the best option.
Which feels fair, as long as you're not the last person.
12. BAM! PEN DOESN'T WORK.
"Maybe we can just tell her the amounts?"
13. Out of nowhere, someone throws cash on the table, claiming they have to leave right that instant.
Gone like a ghost.
14. And you end up covering more of the bill than you should because you're a martyr.
If no one steps up, you'll be at the table forever.