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What It's Like When You Try A New Lip Color

I don't know...Will I actually wear it?

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1. You walk into Sephora, lips nude (and sad). The workers stare at you.

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♫The people don't start staring 'til you walk in...♫

2. Maybe I should leave. My lips are making people uncomfortable.

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Bye.

3. But waitwaitwait I came in for a reason.

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You can do this.

4. You walk in slowly.

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Maybe no one will notice you.

5. But inevitably, some perky Sephora girl will want to help.

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I guess you can't blame her. She's only doing her job.

6. You can say no all you want, they're still going to be attached to your leg until you leave.

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*sigh*

7. She'll ask you what kind of lipstick you want.

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I don't know. Isn't that why you're here?

8. She'll ask if you'd like to try something bold and new.

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You'll try it, just for the hell of things.

9. She pulls out a terrible color.

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Honey, I don't know if green lipstick works for you, but it doesn't work for me.

10. Another color.

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"Camel" isn't an appealing lip color name.

11. You tell her that you aren't looking to try something that bold.

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She acts like she's done something horribly wrong and deserves to be punished. Or like you're just being a rude customer.

12. Maybe something more along the red lines?

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Maybe not navy blue.

13. You find three or more perfect reds, and can't decide between them.

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This one's bold, but this one lasts, but this one is cheaper...

*cries*

14. She'll try and help you by weeding them out.

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One by one, she'll throw them away.

15. Of course, the cheapest one makes you look washed out.

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Goodbye, rent money.

16. The second one is much too bold.

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No way anybody would take you seriously. You could never pull that off.

17. And the third one...

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This color makes you look flawless.

18. But it's so expensive.

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Like I said, goodbye home.

19. So you reluctantly try to walk away.

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Very reluctantly.

20. But you can't just leave it there!

It would be so sad.
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It would be so sad.

21. You go back.

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(Knowing you won't be eating for the next week)

22. But hey, beauty is pain, amirite?

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Iamrite.

23. You fork over $60 dollars, but go home happily.

Now your lips won't look like the naked mole rat from Kim Possible.
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Now your lips won't look like the naked mole rat from Kim Possible.

24. You drive home, slowly.

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Not to disturb the natural beauty of the lipstick.

25. Rush inside and scurry to the bathroom.

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I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited eeeeeeeeee

26. You open it, and it's perfect.

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It's even got that new tube smell.

27. You cherish the moment before the first application.

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Religiously.

28. It applies even better than at the store.

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I blame the sales assistant.

29. It makes you feel confident.

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And sexy.

30. And no one will bring you down.

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31. You go, girl.

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Or boy. I don't judge.

You go, everybody.

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