22 Things That Are F**king Metal

Right now, two sacs of jelly attached to tubes of blood are sending messages to a bloody glob of fat and nerves in your head where they are turned into little electric explosions. Now that’s metal.

1. This guy’s son.

3. Actually, all of Scandinavia.

4. This recycling bin.

5. This place’s bathrooms.

8. This dumpster.

9. This mountain.

10. This textbook.

11. This kid’s test answers.

12. This suggestion box.

13. This girl’s method for removing a loose tooth.

14. This guy’s move/life.

15. These custom crayon colors.

16. This seasonal ale.

17. This guy selling Hot ‘N’ Ready pizzas.

18. This barrista.

20. This kid’s birthday cake from the early ’90s.

21. The time the keyboardist from Rammstein crowd surfed in an inflatable raft.

22. And of course, the Louvin brothers.

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