1. He can hold his own in a fight.
When the Court of Owls gave Batman a run for his money, things were looking grim for the Dark Knight and his faithful butler. But Alfred is resourceful. Give him a moment of perfect timing and a giant penny, and he can take out a Talon or two.
8. He’s great at putting things in perspective.
Listen, it’s not necessarily a reasonable response to put on a bat costume then spend the rest of your life fighting crime just cause you went through a bit of a traumatic experience. Alfred gets that. He’ll still help you fight a little crime now and then. He just wants you to be aware that maybe some of your life choices are a little over the top.
9. He doesn’t put up with anyone’s shit.
He knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman. He knows that Batman is the world’s greatest detective. He knows Batman has the means to destroy the likes of Superman. He even knows that Batman has defeated some of the world’s worst villains.
He just doesn’t care.
10. …not even from the all-powerful Superman.
In the Injustice: Gods Among Us series, Superman went through some stuff (specifically, the death of his wife and unborn son at his own hands, and the destruction of Metropolis), so he was feeling a bit… grumpy.
When he started forming a new totalitarian world order, he came to Batman for help, but was promptly turned away by the more level-headed Bruce Wayne. On his way out, Alfred managed to get a pretty good zinger in under the wire before Superman went out and took over the planet.
16. He’ll bring you ice cream, even when you’re too busy to sit down and enjoy it with him.
Everyone loves ice cream. Even Batman.
Think about the last time someone brought you ice cream. Think about how that made you feel. Don’t you want to be the type of person who brings people ice cream. Don’t you want to make others happy?
Alfred has been around for a long time, and has seen a lot of Robins come and go in that time. He knows that we all have our own “Robins” in life, our own disappointments, our our perceived shortcomings. Alfred is here to help us all break our bad habits and live with the Robins we’ve got.
- The Trump administration is rolling back an Obama-era policy aimed at protecting transgender students in public schools.
- North Dakota police have begun clearing out Standing Rock protester camps at the Dakota Access Pipeline site.
- Seven Earth-sized planets that could have water and possibly sustain life have been discovered orbiting a dwarf star, NASA announced today.
- Facebook is in negotiations with the Major League Baseball League to possibly stream one game per week during the 2017 season.