23 People With Better Names Than Yours

Your name might be cool, but it’ll never be as cool as Dyl Pickle, Jed I. Knight, or Dick Thrasher.

1. Some people, like Lord Brain, have the perfect career, given their name:

2. Like Dyl Pickle here, who works at a Burger King:

3. Sue Yoo, who works as a lawyer:

4. This one is probably an error, but Matthew Correspondent is a great name for a news correspondent:

5. And, of course, there’s District 68’s Assembly Representative candidate, Rich White (Republican):

6. Dr. Rollo-Koster, on the other hand, missed her calling. She should get into the amusement park business:

7. Chris P. Bacon should obviously be a chef:

8. And Mr. Perv should be doing anything but teaching children:

9. It’s got to be tough being a high school teacher with a name like Mr. Sackrider:

10. The only thing worse is an elementary school teacher named Mr. Butt:

Ha ha. Mr. Butt.

11. You’ve got to admire parents who come up with names like this:

12. Tahra Dactyl is probably going to turn out just fine. It must be awesome being named after a dinosaur:

13. Oops. Never mind:

14. Interesting name! Is it Polish?

15. The weirdest part is that he’s actually Jewish:

17. Yeah she does:

18. One thing is for sure. Let’s all agree…

19. …to stop…

20. …naming our kids…

21. …after male…

22. …genitalia!

23. (Except you, Dick Thrasher. You’re cool.)

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