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The 21 Struggles Of Being A Glaswegian Living In Edinburgh

"What the hell did you just put on my chips?"

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1. Having to navigate the masses of tourists on Princes Street.

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Before now you were unaware people actually visited Scotland. You thought they were an urban legend, like Nessie.

2. Being unsure of how to get anywhere without using Google Maps.

You're just used to Glasgow's easy peasy grid system.

You're just used to Glasgow's easy peasy grid system.

3. The realisation that the city centre during summer can be a dangerous place.

You think you'll pop in for a quick coffee at Social Bite, you end up seeing two shows, participating in a live art performance, and becoming a magician's assistant.

4. Having to learn the almost impossible routine of avoiding festival flyers.

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*Avoids eye contact* *makes 40 minute detour to avoid the Royal Mile*

5. Having a constant backing track of bagpipes wherever you go.

Your ears didn't know how easy they had it on Buchanan Street.

6. And don't worry, if you want to walk on the other side of Princes Street the 23 souvenir shops will keep your ears amused.

Why are there so many?!

7. The inner conflict of whether to thank the bus driver or not.


Because apparently it is now a socially unacceptable thing to do.

8. That is, if you ever brave the public transport in the first place.

Suddenly Buchanan bus station doesn't seen so bad.

9. And you finally understand all the moaning about the trams.

Six years in the making and you're pretty sure you could walk to the airport faster.

10. Putting up with the never ending jokes.

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Yes I'm from Glasgow. No I'm not an alcoholic.

11. The awkward moment when people don't get the hint when you call them pal.


Doesn't really translate as an insult here.

12. Taking on the role of the all-knowing Scottish friend.

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Apparently a Glaswegian accent implies expertise on all things Scotland.

13. And also the role of a hotel.

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Lucky you: Your home friends now assume you will provide accommodation for every Glaswegian and their dog.

14. The heartbreaking moment when you thought you asked for tomato sauce on your chips and ended up with something a bit more brown.


15. The sad realisation that even in your own country people can't understand you...

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Hingy slowly becomes thingy and greetin' slowly becomes crying. Which is what you'll be doing when you realise you're losing your Weegie twang.

16. And therefore simultaneously being teased by your Edi friends for your "rough" accent and your home friends for your "posh" accent.


Will you ever get a break?!

17. You thought it was cold in Glasgow...

... but try taking your tap aff in the sunshine in Edinburgh.

18. Having to go back to Glasgow every time you want to see a gig.

Apparently no musician has ever heard of Edinburgh.

19. Having to go back to Glasgow every time you want to go shopping.

Because you can't beat The Style Mile.

20. Becoming skint sooner than you thought when you trade Sauchiehall street for George Street.

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Think Opal Lounge might be a wee bit dearer than the Garage.

21. And having to put up with this horrible view every day.

Ah well, I guess it isn't all that bad ;).