Listen: I know we're all getting a little sensitive these days. Lately it's felt like I can't walk down the sidewalk without getting attacked for saying the wrong thing or supporting the wrong politician or wearing the color during so-and-so awareness month. We're all eager to jump down each other's throats for all kinds of reasons, and I get that everyone's a little burnt out from the political correctness express. But recently I've decided I can't sit back any longer and let myself ignore how common a certain word has become, a word that causes pain and anguish for an entire segment of humanity's population. I'm breaking up with the word "retarded," and I don't ever want a reunion.
Of course, most of the time this word is used totally innocently. It's just a word, right? It's thrown around as a synonym for anything undesirable or annoying – "my boyfriend won't Snapchat me back, he's being so retarded!" – and sometimes it is even used in a positive light. (The waves were retarded today, brah! Sick winds coming in from the east!) Just in the past few weeks I have overheard the word at an elementary school, a Walgreen's, and a golf course.
But I'm fed up. On a personal level I have over a dozen adopted siblings from all over the world, several of whom happen to be afflicted with various disabilities, and as an author I have readers dealing with all kinds of issues in their own lives. I can't pretend it doesn't bother me anymore that a word that can cut like a machete is being thrown around like confetti.
Flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp, and in the same way, humans are made of the things we do and say and consume. By using the word innocently, we are paving the way for it to be used in other ways. When a family member of mine who happens to have severe medical issues was called a "retard," there was nothing he could do to shoot back – he was nonverbal. He will live with that pain, the pain of being called out for being different and unique and Other, forever. When a friend of mine who happens to be in a wheelchair was called a "cripple" by a hospital staffer, there was nothing she could respond with – she'd already been reduced to nothing.
We can never know the pain we cause with our tongues, because most people will never know what it is like to have a body or a brain that is so different from the norm, you are relegated to an entirely different sector of society. When I asked a friend to please stop using the word yesterday, they responded that "people can handle themselves" and that we "shouldn't take offense when there are so many other problems out there." But that's the thing – some people can't help themselves. By using this slur we are attacking the defenseless, targeting the vulnerable. And heaven knows I'm no Mother Teresa – I've sat back and let myself ignore the word, turned my head and pretended like I didn't hear anything. I've probably even used it myself when I was young and ignorant. But some members of the disabled community don't even have the luxury of being able to walk away, so I won't turn a blind eye anymore.
I am challenging you all: no more "retard," America. Find another term, find another saying, come up with something different. Next time you hear the term out in the world, maybe even stop and politely ask the user if they know any disabled people, and inquire as to whether they'd be happy that the word was being broadcast by them. Only we have the power to change ourselves and our habits. The disabled are far too often made to feel like they are inferior, and they don't need that message out there even more than it is just because of some easily-avoidable term. Let's create a safer environment so the medically, physically and emotionally disabled can one day look out at society and feel accepted instead of shunned.
And if you're annoyed by the PC-heavy tone of this article, don't worry: I'm sure Beyoncé will surprise-release another new album in a few weeks and have us all angrily discussing her marriage again, anyway. Patience, grasshopper. Outrage is a cycle, and the wheels of rage are always turning.
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