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I Morphed Into Kris Jenner For A Day And Here's What Happened

The momager is in.

My co-workers decided to test out the Kylie Jenner hair extensions, but because of my hair color, I was not a match for the Kylie extensions.

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I have balayage highlights, which don't mix well with any of the color options on the Bellami Kylie Kouture hair.

So, I decided to take the approach of a different Jenner: Kris.

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First up, wardrobe. Kris is known for wearing long-sleeved dresses in either black or white, or a combination of the two.

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It's the uniform of a woman of a certain age who knows exactly how to cover her past-their-prime arms, belly, and upper thighs.

Next, makeup. Her look is the love child of a mob wife and a daytime talk show host. She makes it work.

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Plus, her accessories of choice are stud earrings and hands so perfectly manicured that she has to hire someone else to type out emails on her Blackberry.

I put on a set of long, red talons and had a professional give me signature Kris Jenner makeup. Then I got to work on my hair.

First, I had to slick everything back. This was not the time for flyaways.

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I'm estimating about one-quarter of a bottle of hairspray was used.

Next I had to tuck all of that length into the tightest bun I could make.

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My new identity couldn't be clouded by my stupid, plain-person hair.

Wig-cap time. This thing is like Spanx for your scalp.

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I'm pretty sure I sweated through this cap in about two minutes flat. It felt a lot like being suffocated by Satan's hot breath. (Or, you know, what I imagine Satan's hot breath would feel like.)

Wig time! As I put it on, all of my dreams of wanting to be a spokeswoman for incontinence pads were feeling like a reality.

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Is this how Kris feels every morning?

I became a full-on momager! My entire existence had been leading up to this moment.

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I knew I could set everybody up for the rest of their lives.

Welcome to my fabulous home in Calabasas! Can my servant get anybody a drink?

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Look! I birthed the most beautiful woman on Earth from my own vagina. I did that!

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Kim is my proudest accomplishment.

Hey, girls! I'm here for the party too!

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My daughters are like my very own real-life dolls.

My children* are my world.

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*Fake children for the day.

Hairstylist: Bukky Ojeifo

Makeup Artist: Maya Calhoun

Nails: KISS Nails, provided to BuzzFeed Life free of charge