Top 10 Resolutions I'm Sure To Break

Come along and revel in my failure.

1.

10. Quit Smoking.

This is a good one. I've done it before and I'll do it again, Allen Carr hasn't been able to make me do it, nor has that special episode of Home Improvement where Randy gets caught with a pack--although, I may have made that episode up.

9. Doubting Myself.

Yeah. This'll be the year you sell that screenplay. Sure. It's "funny" at least, that's what your step-dad said... and he auditioned for Steve Gutenberg once.

8. Skittles.

Remember in middle school when people were like "don't eat the yellow ones" and "don't drink Mountain Dew" 'cause it'll make your wee wee small? Yeah... Middle school was a weird time for all of us.

7. Trashy Magazines.

It's embarrassing being 27 year-old guy buying Cosmo Girl, but I really would like to know which Vampire Diaries crush is most likely to "bite me".

6. Writing Fan Fiction.

But then again, that's how the real money gets made, and I think people agree that Dora the Explorer SHOULD be solving murders.

5. Wearing that one pair of boxers.

They're still dirty.

4. Getting down on myself for not Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

I never will. Those ladies are faster than the Gilmore Girls!

3. Build a Snowman Every Day!

I wanna be clear, I've been listening to the Frozen soundtrack a lot lately, and upon writing this, I can see this one may be impossible.

2. Read two books a week.

Read two MATCH books... Get it? It's because I'm not going to read... there's television.

1. Finishing things.

This is a tough one and something I really want to get better at. It's a lot like what my good friend used to say about being a