1. Do you have your keys?
2. No, really, do you have your keys?
3. I know you feel your keys in your pocket, sharply digging into your thigh, but I want you to be absolutely sure you have your keys.
4. Is your jacket on?
5. Which jacket is it?
6. Did you lint roll this jacket? 'cause you're probably COVERED in cat hair.
7. Did you eat breakfast?
8. Good... Did you turn off the stove?
9. I know it's microwaveable, I just mean, you could have bumped into the stove?
10. Is the stove on? I'd feel a lot better if you checked.
11. All the burners.
12. The back one, too.
13. Are you sure you have your keys?
14. It feels warm, the back one, doesn't the back one feel warm?
15. Make sure the freezer closed, the latch has been 'tricky' lately.
16. Should we fix that now?
17. I already have my jacket on--is this jacket warm enough?
18. Do I have my keys?
19. Let's just duct tape shut the freezer.
20. Did you bring a snack?
21. I'm going to fill my pockets with dried pumpkin seeds, in case I get hungry or in case I see a bird.
22. I should bring some Purell in case I see a bird.
23. I touched the Purell to some of the pumpkin seeds, so now I need a new bag of pumpkin seeds and need to put them in a ziploc bag so I won't repeat the same process.
24. Did I wash my mail yet?
25. Cell phone?
26. Cell phone?
27. Can someone call my cell phone?
28. Oh, wait, it's on vibrate so...
29. Shut up, everyone.
30. Just shut up for a second.
31. ...
32. It's supposed to vibrate.
33. It goes pretty lou--
34. Oh shut up, there it is.
35. ...
36. Oh! It was in my jacket pocket.
37. Is this jacket going to be warm enough?
38. Keys.
39. Gum.
40. Other type of gum in case I lose interest in the first type of gum.
41. Candy bar.
42. Lower calorie candy bar to eat before the real candy bar.
43. Wait... did you see my phone?
44. I know this is ridiculous, but I have to check to make sure I turned the shower off.
45. It's off, but I turned it on to prove it and now I'm nervous I left it on again.
46. Okay, it's definitely off.
47. Just give me one more check.
48. Did you turn the radiator on while we were here?
49. How about the ceiling fans?
50. Air conditioner?
51. Honestly, I have no idea what the weather is like outside, I haven't been able to leave in weeks. The days are completely blurring together and I couldn't tell you what day it is, let alone what season.
52. Do you think this jacket is going to be enough?
53. I don't really have a good scarf hat combo that goes with this...
54. I'd have to lint roll it.
55. Let me make sure I left the cats enough food so that if I die, they'll survive for at least two days, at which point, people will hopefully remember I had cats and will go over to my place and take care of them.
56. Okay, let me hug all my cats so they know I love them.
57. All right, if you'll give me just ten seconds to put hydrogen peroxide on my scratches real quick.
58. Do you have my keys?
59. Which pocket?
60. Did you eat lunch today?
61. I'm going to make a quick turkey sandwich so my blood sugar doesn't get low out there.
62. Did I make toast this morning?
63. I should unplug the toaster.
64. Did I bring the toaster into the bathtub? I
65. I should definitely make sure it's unplugged.
66. Do I even own a toaster?
67. I should buy a toaster while I'm out.
68. No... that's how you end up leaving toasters plugged in.
69. Cats are fed?
70. Where are the cats?
71. Did the cat plug the toaster in in the bathroom?
72. I need to get nicer pets.
73. They're always messing with me.
74. Okay, let's just go.
75. Gum?
76. Cellphone?
77. Do you have your keys?
78. Screw it. I can just order from seamless.
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