1. This person, who had to suffer an act of malice against their pie crust:
2. This person, who I hope gets a new landlord for Christmas:
3. This person who had to switch gears really quickly:
4. This person who put in so much work for such a sweet gift:
5. This cat, who has to confront its greatest fear every day until Christmas:
6. This person, who instead of being able to sell their drums in peace, was exposed to a yuletide guilt trip:
7. The person who's going to be gifted this Christmas-themed "dog shirt." IDK who they are yet, but I'm pretty sure they're gonna have a bad time:
8. The person who thought snow was too light and fluffy to do any damage to their car:
9. The neighbors at house number 482, who had to have committed a heinous crime to be excluded from holiday wishes:
10. The person who was told to make a "baby lamb" decoration and went a very literal way with it:
11. The person who forgot what a horse looked like:
12. The person who brain-farted when spelling a cake:
13. Finally, this person, who may want to look into getting a new phone battery:
Note: Some text has been edited for length and/or clarity.