Okay, now this party probably isn't super intimidating but you still make sure your phone is at 100% so you can use it as a crutch the whole night. Oh look female humans! Wow they look great. They're so pretty. So are you though! You watched that makeup tutorial and you are killing the game tonight. If there was a game for you to play. (There's probably not) But GIRL let your imagination take the reins!
Look at your sisters friend for example: beautiful, tall, funny, confident. Everything you could ever dream about a girl being she is it! And more! Oh and look at her kiss that boy! That very average looking frat boy who is in fact shorter than you and has a cast. Who needs two functioning arms anyway! Not straight girls!
Put a note in your phone to remind yourself to listen to that one taylor swift song that reminds you of her and stare at your arms for too long wondering what color cast you would get if you broke an arm. Probably black, it would go with everything...but no one could sign it! Shit, now the Redds and those two shots are kicking in and your gayness is knocking on the pantry door looking for some goldfish. You keep that shit on lock until you know everyone else is on your level.
You look around the party to see a lot of single guys and straight couples all of which bore you.
"Can I get you another drink?"
You snap out of your lesbian trance only to hear a song you fuckin love. Ignore the straight boy and go dance. Bust out your incredibly straight and borderline gay dance moves with your straight best friends and ignore the fact that your friends are trying to impress the guys watching you. Continue impressing the guys watching you while trying to impress the seemingly poetic loner girl in the corner who is also drinking a Redds. Coincidence? Probably. Will you think it's destiny? You absolutely will. Keep dancing, and one day you'll impress her too.
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