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    23 Hilariously Ruthless Parents Whose Patience Is Wearing Really, Really Thin

    "There is nothing more unsettling than a 5-year-old trying to whisper something in your ear."

    Anyone who has kids knows that parenting — during a quarantine or not — can be wonderful, exhausting, and downright hilarious.


    Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find by parents who might be losing it a little but have still managed to keep their sense of humor:


    My kids brought me breakfast in bed, then proceeded to eat MY breakfast. If that doesn't sum up motherhood I don't know what does.


    My 3yo cried for half an hour cause I wouldn’t let her eat a 2nd popsicle for lunch and then all of a sudden she stopped crying, sighed heavily and said, “Fiiiine, I’ll have a cookie instead”.


    I just wanted five minutes to drink my coffee so I sent my kid in the other room to look for a toy that’s in my pocket. Follow me for more parenting hacks.


    7-year-old: I don't want a big cake for my birthday. Me: That's very humble of you. 7: I want a small cake every day of the year.


    The only good thing about having a toddler is how you can say it’s been 5 minutes after only 1 minute and they don’t know the difference


    Parenting in a nutshell? My 4yo just offered to let me go to sleep if I gave her 100 dollars.


    The actors who play parents in commercials never look tired enough.


    Me: Oh, I’m sorry. Is the sacrifice I made for 9 months not enough? Sharing my body and nourishing a child twice didn’t prove my level of unselfishness? Why must I constantly give and give and- Husband: JUST LEAVE THE LAST TWO WAFFLES FOR THE KIDS YOU’VE ALREADY HAD 8


    My middle schooler just remembered there is a lunch in her locker.


    Went to pay for my Starbucks in the drive-thru & the barista said “the handsome man behind you is going to pay for yours!” I look back & say “Oh! That’s my husband!” She said “That’s so sweet! You’re lucky!” & then my son hollered “yeah you don’t live with him!” Kids are fun.


    There is nothing more unsettling than a 5-year-old trying to whisper something into your ear.


    Welcome to parenthood. You'll find yourself asking your spouse ridiculous questions like, "do you mind if I take a shower?"


    Cook for your kids and they'll eat and not help clean up. Teach your kids to cook and they'll eat and not help clean up a way worse mess.


    Everyone always feels sorry for the parents with 10 kids, but, what about the parents with 1 kid? 1 kid won't leave you the fuck alone. Ever.


    Our children learn everything from watching us. It’s why my toddler treats strangers with kindness and always laughs at his own farts.


    My teenage daughter screaming “I AM BEING CALM!” just became a woman.


    My kids aren’t sure how they’re going to adjust from 300 snacks before noon down to 2 when they start school again in the fall.


    Every single parent in the history of kid’s birthday parties who was offered a slice of pizza and declined really wanted that pizza.


    Kid: "You know in Minecraft when.." "No."


    Dear "Influencers," If you're a Mom and have a white couch, carpet or shirt, I'm out. You clearly are not my people.


    My 4 year-old asked to have pancakes and waffles at the same time this morning, so I'd say my job as a parent is done.


    3: mummy tell me a story Me: *tells detailed story about mermaids, unicorns & hedgehogs with romance, adventure, suspense and plot twists* 3: Me: did you enjoy that sweetie 3: no


    5-year-old: *leads her little sister around on a dog leash* Me: What do you think you're doing? 5: Parenting. She learned from the best.

    If you think these parents are as funny as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter!

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