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25 People Shared The "Dead Wrong" Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There's Some Real Wisdom Here

"That spending time unwinding is a sign of laziness."

Parents, it turns out, don't actually know everything. Recently, Reddit users u/nousername1982 and u/ZestyClose_Ad4682 started threads asking people to share the things their parents taught them that turned out to be totally wrong, and the responses were relatable and real:

1. "Saying, 'Do as I say, not as I do.' A leader shouldn't ask his followers to do something he wouldn't."

2. "That parents never have to apologize to their kids. My dad is a great dad, but he has it in his head β€” even now that I'm an adult β€” that he doesn't need to apologize to me if he does something wrong. It's baffling."


3. "To eat everything on their plate β€” I try to get my kids to make an effort to eat their meals, but I'm never going to punish them for not being hungry when I say so."

"Sometimes you start it and can't finish, and sometimes you just don't like it. That said though, if they keep saying they're hungry, they need to learn to take what they can get."


4. "That math and science wouldn't serve girls well. I would have killed to have someone rear me into STEM when I was younger."


5. "That you need to hustle 100% of the time and constantly be busy with school, work, extracurricular activities, and side projects. I was taught that spending time unwinding is a sign of laziness and boredom, and that intelligent people are never bored β€” it really messed me up."

6. "That 'if a boy acts like a jerk, it means he likes you!' No...just no."

"It teaches girls that abuse is OK, and that they should expect to be treated like crap."


7. "My dad always said, 'Children should be seen and not heard.' I'm not a big fan of that one."


8. "That sex is something to be ashamed of."


"Until you're married. Then, the instant you say 'I do,' that ultimate sinful, shameful act becomes a requirement and obligation. I know too many people who bought into the first part, and then couldn't turn it off later in life."


9. "That as long as we have always been given everything we need, we are loved. The emotional abuse ruined me."


10. "That therapy is for 'crazy people.'"

11. "That I would get pregnant as soon as I had sex. They told me that when I was a teenager, so I was terrified I'd get pregnant every time I interacted with a penis."

"A decade later, I'm married, and have been trying to get pregnant, and it turns out it's not as easy as they made it sound."


12. "That eating cookies before dinner gives you worms. It gave me nightmares as a child."


13. "Lack of empathy. My parents grew up in a really horrible situation, made it out, and did well for themselves β€” so now anytime anyone struggles, they refuse to feel bad for them because they have gone through worse and did fine."

"I think people deserve empathy regardless."


14. "Not to ask questions 'because I said so.'"


15. "That 'your job is to do whatever your boss tells you to do.' This led to a bunch of stupid situations where I got walked all over by employers and quit jobs over things that could have been fixed with a conversation."

16. "That you have to 'suffer for love.' Thanks, Mom β€” you set your daughter up for a lifetime of trying to change narcissistic losers."


17. "My mother made me believe privacy was a privilege. It wasn't until I started studying childcare that I learned it is a right, and that my mother was full of bullshit."


18. "That it's illegal to have the little ceiling light on in the car. I know it's illegal in some places, but lots of parents just say this because it's an easy way out of explaining that it's hard to see with the light on."


19. "If you stop reacting, they'll stop bullying you."


20. "That I basically have to be a smaller version of them, believe exactly what they do, and not think for myself. I want my kids to be open-minded and believe what they want."

21. "That sex, sexuality, drinking, drugs, partying, politics, money, and spirituality are awkward things to discuss with your parents. I want my future kids to know that if they are ever in trouble, I am a safe place for them, and that these subjects are a part of life and should not cause shame."


22. "That the man of the house is always right."


23. "To try to fit in as much as possible at the expense of who you really are on the inside."


24. "That crying is shameful."


And lastly:

25. "That their love has conditions. Right or wrong, I hope my children will never feel like they can't talk to me or that I will judge them."

Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.