Let's face it — teachers hear their share of wild excuses from students who didn't complete their assignments.
Well, Reddit user u/Xplosion101 asked teachers to share the most ridiculous excuse a student has used for not turning in their homework, and I laughed, I cried, I shook my damn head:
1. "My high school student claimed he couldn't do his homework because his grandmother wouldn't give him back his textbook...which she had taken in retaliation for his theft of her wooden leg."
2. "One of my classmates said their dog ate their homework. The homework was online."
3. "My student's excuse was that his pet parrot flew into the fireplace and caught on fire. Then the parrot proceeded to fly around the sitting room with the dad chasing it trying to hit it with a frying pan because he was afraid the curtains would go up in flames if the parrot got too close to them..."
"The dad finally hit it and then threw the flaming bird under the faucet, and in all the drama, the kid had forgotten to do his homework. Of course, I let him off the hook — it was the most creative story he'd come up with all year!"
4. "My cat ate my laptop."
5. "A student once told me that he decided not to do his homework because the Mayans had predicted that the world was going to end, and he figured he couldn't get in trouble if the world ended."
6. "I had a student in my online class tell me his grandma died twice. Yes, some people have two grandmothers die, but he actually pasted the same exact story in an email twice, the first time saying that his grandmother had been sick with cancer and 'this week, she finally succumbed to the disease...'"
"I told him I was so sorry and that he could have extra time on the assignment. But then when it came time for the final paper to be due, that dude sent me THE SAME CUT AND PASTED EMAIL! When I got to the part where his grandma 'finally succumbed to the disease', I was like, 'wait a minute, I've read this before!' Made me wonder how many classes this kid had done this in."
7. "One kid said he couldn't do his homework because his mom's blender was too loud."
8. "One of my students told me their cat gave birth on their homework...then proceeded to share a picture of a whole litter of slimy kittens on a pile of sheets."
9. "I once heard, 'I cut off my thumb while trying to copy something I saw on the Cooking Channel.'"
"It wasn't a lie."
10. "Once, one of my 12th graders didn't bring in his paper. Rather than embarrass him, I took him outside to ask why. Well, he got shifty and said, 'You always say to be honest, right? So, umm...I lost my virginity last night and passed out at the girl's house — and I left my backpack there when her dad was chasing me out of the house this morning.'"
11. "My student told me five separate times that he lost his homework running from a dog that was chasing him on the way home."
12. "One of my students claimed he put his homework in a room in his house...and then forgot the room existed."
"It seemed like nonsense, but it turns out he had an operation to remove a tumor from his brain when he was 10, and one of the side effects was that for a short period, he could completely forget a room in his house. True story, confirmed by his mother and sister."
13. "One of my classmates told an elaborate story of how he couldn't do his homework because his dad was being deployed overseas the night before on short notice, so he had to help pack and all. His story was so good that he wasted 10 minutes of class and even got the teacher to say, 'Thank you to your father for his service.'"
14. "Mine is the opposite — one of my teachers lost my graded homework, saying he left it in his shed and it got eaten by slugs. But he showed me the slug-eaten paper and gave me full marks for it!"
15. "One student told me they ran out of pencil ink."
16. "One of my students told me he did his homework a week early in an old notebook, but then his dad sold all his stationery for petty cash, and he was so mad he didn't do it over to teach his dad a lesson."
17. "I had given my music students a theory sheet to complete, and one of my trombone players said, 'My grandma stole my homework in Mexico and wouldn't give it back.' Turns out they were visiting his grandparents across the border and his grandmother wanted something of his to hang on the refrigerator, so she took his homework and put it up!"
"He protested, but she wouldn't relent, so he took a picture of it as proof he completed it, and I graded the sheet from the picture. The kid got an 'A.' I got a story."
And lastly, a true story that is so hilariously bizarre you'll totally understand why the teacher didn't believe the student:
18. "My son couldn't turn in his homework once because a duck flew into our kitchen, panicked, and landed on the kitchen table. But despite her panic, the duck spotted some Rice Krispies and started to eat them out of the bowl, splashing milk and cereal all over my son's homework before grabbing the homework page — which was covered in cereal — and flying off with it! I don't think the teacher ever believed us."
What about you? Are you a teacher whose student came up with a wild, hilarious excuse to get out of an assignment? Tell us about it in the comments section, and you could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.