Everyone knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens.
Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find about being married, and they prove that marriage is indeed for better, for worse, and for hilarious as hell:
1.
Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast.
2.
My husband and I have non-traditonal marriage roles. I control the tv remote while he sighs.
3.
Listen: I just found out that my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon so I can’t listen to your problems right now.
4.
If I go missing, it's because I adjusted the thermostat 1° warmer while she was sleeping.
5.
Accidentally forgot to pat my husband’s butt when he bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at him. Marriage. Is. Wild.
6.
My wife said she’d buy her own birthday cake this is a test right
7.
My husband just said, "Okey dokey, Artichokey," and now I'm wondering if anyone can recommend a good divorce lawyer.
8.
I have my windows open today and I just heard my neighbor shout “I love you” to her husband as he worked in their yard and now I know I live next door to psychopaths
9.
Guys, never go to bed if you’re still fighting with your wife. Snoring will never help your argument.
10.
Me, giving my husband’s eulogy: It’s so hard Husband, from coffin: ᵀʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ ˢᵃᶦᵈ.
11.
My wife just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship.
12.
My husband texted me from Costco to let me know there was a line & I think he was looking for me to say “don’t worry about it, just come home” but instead I said “don’t forget the ice.”
13.
My husband is at Lowe's, unsupervised. There's $500 I'll never get back.
14.
Me: *Staying inside all day and seeing no one because we are in quarantine* Wife: Is that what you are going to wear?
15.
Husband: What is today? Me: I’m in no mood for your riddles today.
16.
This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize I’m not out of his league.
17.
[hears husband calling me from the bathroom] *turns up the tv*
18.
My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won.
19.
My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now I’m worried I married a witch
20.
Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since we’ve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing
21.
Me: You’re SURE you know how to cut hair? Wife: I told you I watched a YouTube video
22.
Definitely get married so you too can enjoy fighting over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM.
23.
Me: are you sleeping? Wife: no. Me: if you knew we’d be quarantined, would you still have married me? Wife: actually I am sleeping.
24.
My husband hasn’t turned his TV off in 2 months but he’s gonna gripe at me for not turning out a light when I leave the room, yeah okay.
25.
Husband: Tell me a fantasy of yours. Me: So you go back to the office for work. Husband: And? Me: And?
26.
My wife won’t tell me what her reopening plan is.
27.
{On the phone with my mom} Me: What’s your secret to 55 years of marriage? Mom: We never hated each other on the same day.