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    27 Hilariously Brutal Tweets About Marriage That Should Be Hung In A Museum Somewhere

    "I just found out my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, so I can't listen to your problems right now."

    Everyone knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens.


    Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find about being married, and they prove that marriage is indeed for better, for worse, and for hilarious as hell:


    Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast.


    My husband and I have non-traditonal marriage roles. I control the tv remote while he sighs.


    Listen: I just found out that my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon so I can’t listen to your problems right now.


    If I go missing, it's because I adjusted the thermostat 1° warmer while she was sleeping.


    Accidentally forgot to pat my husband’s butt when he bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at him. Marriage. Is. Wild.


    My wife said she’d buy her own birthday cake this is a test right


    My husband just said, "Okey dokey, Artichokey," and now I'm wondering if anyone can recommend a good divorce lawyer.


    I have my windows open today and I just heard my neighbor shout “I love you” to her husband as he worked in their yard and now I know I live next door to psychopaths


    Guys, never go to bed if you’re still fighting with your wife. Snoring will never help your argument.


    Me, giving my husband’s eulogy: It’s so hard Husband, from coffin: ᵀʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ ˢᵃᶦᵈ.


    My wife just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship.


    My husband texted me from Costco to let me know there was a line & I think he was looking for me to say “don’t worry about it, just come home” but instead I said “don’t forget the ice.”


    My husband is at Lowe's, unsupervised. There's $500 I'll never get back.


    Me: *Staying inside all day and seeing no one because we are in quarantine* Wife: Is that what you are going to wear?


    Husband: What is today? Me: I’m in no mood for your riddles today.


    This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize I’m not out of his league.


    [hears husband calling me from the bathroom] *turns up the tv*


    My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won.


    My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now I’m worried I married a witch


    Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since we’ve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing


    Me: You’re SURE you know how to cut hair? Wife: I told you I watched a YouTube video


    Definitely get married so you too can enjoy fighting over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM.


    Me: are you sleeping? Wife: no. Me: if you knew we’d be quarantined, would you still have married me? Wife: actually I am sleeping.


    My husband hasn’t turned his TV off in 2 months but he’s gonna gripe at me for not turning out a light when I leave the room, yeah okay.


    Husband: Tell me a fantasy of yours. Me: So you go back to the office for work. Husband: And? Me: And?


    My wife won’t tell me what her reopening plan is.


    {On the phone with my mom} Me: What’s your secret to 55 years of marriage? Mom: We never hated each other on the same day.

    If you think these married people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter!

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