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    18 Brutally Real Marriage Tweets That Are 100% True And 200% Hilarious

    "Still waiting for my husband to apologize for what he did in my dream last night."

    1. Marriage is about communication:

    My wife and I hit an important marriage milestone. We had a fight entirely in fridge magnets.

    2. It's about waking up next to the person you love every day:

    I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF

    3. It's about being willing to negotiate on the important things:

    [sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across. Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations*

    4. It's about being there for each other through thick and thin:

    Just listed my wife as my emergency contact and added the note “please text, she doesn’t answer calls.”

    5. It's about knowing when to apologize:

    Still waiting for my husband to apologize for what he did in my dream last night.

    6. It's about loving them for who they are, literally:

    #MarriageIs loving someone so much you accept having horrible initials

    7. And more than anything, it's about honesty:

    wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] me: I'm having an affair

    8. It's about knowing each other better than anyone else does:

    *walking into store* Him: You need a cart? Me: No, I'm just getting 2 things. Him: *rolls eyes, grabs cart* Marriage level: Expert

    9. It's about having each other's best interests at heart:

    Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically.

    10. It's about compromise:

    My wife wanted two kittens but I am the man in this house so we got two kittens

    11. It's about being each other's biggest fan:

    *watching husband sleep* Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-" *husband snores* Me: "I can't live like this."

    12. It's about learning how to peacefully co-exist:

    Marriage is just your spouse perpetually standing in front of the kitchen drawer or cabinet you need to open.

    13. And it's about putting each other first:

    Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own.

    14. It's about letting go of Mom and Dad:

    #MarriageIs the insurance that someone will be there to criticize everything you do once your parents are out of the picture.

    15. It's about true partnership:

    Me: I'm glad I got married. Everyone needs a sidekick. Wife: Good point, Robin.

    16. It's about sharing *almost* everything:

    Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share.

    17. It's about teamwork:

    Sorry. I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband.

    18. And it's about sticking it out for the long run, no matter what:

    Wife: IT’S OVER! GET OUT! Me: Ok, good luck killing spiders Wife: Wait