Parents·Posted on Aug 17, 202250 Hysterical Parents On Twitter Who Are Calling Out What Having Kids Is Like In The Most Brutal Way Possible"Parenthood kinda feels like you got hit by a car and as you get up, someone asks you for a snack."by Asia McLainBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail Let's keep it all the way real — parenting can be hilarious as hell. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF So, it's a good thing we have the good folks on Twitter to sum it all up for us in the most hysterical way possible: 1. Marcy G @BunAndLeggings Parenthood kinda feels like you got hit by a car and as you struggle to get up someone asks you for a snack 07:22 PM - 05 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @BunAndLeggings 2. A Bearer Of Dad News @HomeWithPeanut Took my 6-year-old to get his 1st Covid shot & afterwards he said, "That didn't hurt, I'm sure getting a tattoo will be easy." 03:06 PM - 30 Jun 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @HomeWithPeanut 3. That Mom Tho @mom_tho parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like “amy-baileysmom” 02:49 PM - 07 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mom_tho 4. Kristen Bottema-Beutel @KristenBott I asked my 11 yo to help me write my vacation away message, and she suggested “I AM ON VACATION SO YOUR EMAIL WILL BE DELETED” 12:12 AM - 02 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @KristenBott 5. Katie D @KatieDeal99 *daughter writes note* your the worst mom ever Me: it’s *you’re* 12:39 PM - 04 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @KatieDeal99 6. NicholasG @Dad_At_Law My daughter told me she packed one of the “canteens” she found in the basement for overnight camp and we don’t own any canteens so I checked her bag just to see what she was talking about and pulled out a flask. She was almost the edgiest kid in the 10 y/o cabin. 01:44 PM - 07 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Dad_At_Law 7. Marcy G @BunAndLeggings We were eating dinner and it was really quiet because we were enjoying our food. My 5-year-old out of nowhere, "so I didn't get that promotion." Her comedic timing was perfect. I can't stop laughing. I'm so proud. 02:39 AM - 09 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @BunAndLeggings 8. I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids My daughter insisted her new preschool teacher’s name was Mr. Penis. We argued over it until one day we finally saw it in writing. Ms. Derpanis. Her name was Ms. Derpanis. 10:08 PM - 19 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids 9. Bess Kalb @bessbell Thrilled to announce that instead of saying “What are you doing?” my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, “What have you done?” 01:25 PM - 30 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @bessbell 10. Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking we opened a bank account for 13. he downloaded the app and now everyday he sends me invoices to pay him "for being alive" and "for not farting at dinner". thanks i hate it 06:44 PM - 08 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @dadmann_walking 11. mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo School emails be like: Welcome to X Elementary! Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. Our drop-off time is 8:24. Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. The PTA will need a donation equal to your mortgage. Welcome back! 01:11 PM - 08 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @notmythirdrodeo 12. SpacedMom @copymama My kid not only replaced the toilet paper roll but put it on facing the right way, my parenting book is out this fall. 01:16 PM - 08 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @copymama 13. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: Is there a video of your wedding? Me: No. We didn't want one. 6: Was Mom embarrassed? 06:57 PM - 27 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn 14. KJ @IDontSpeakWhine Nobody told me parenting would involve hiding 9 volt batteries from my kids so they can't lick them 01:17 PM - 28 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IDontSpeakWhine 15. Lottie-pop 🍭 @Lottie_Poppie My daughter gave me a tiny leaf as a present three days ago and now she wants to know where it is. Pray for me 11:39 AM - 31 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Lottie_Poppie 16. My Life Is The Pitts Family @LifePitts I used a period at the end of my sentence in a text and my 17yo asked me if I was mad. 02:23 PM - 26 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @LifePitts 17. NicholasG @Dad_At_Law Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a sharpie 12:41 PM - 24 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Dad_At_Law 18. Merve Emre @mervatim Told the kids to say “Love you” to their father on FaceTime. They waved to him and said, “All the best.” 11:37 AM - 28 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mervatim 19. Luke+ @lukeplusone Accidentally used my teen daughter’s deodorant and I haven’t come out of my room in three days and just finished liking every TikTok video ever made 05:35 PM - 27 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @lukeplusone 20. MumInBits @MumInBits Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice 05:59 PM - 18 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MumInBits 21. Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 I told my kids I’m not coming out of the bathroom until they stop fighting, I’m really looking forward to a long nap and some me time 12:56 PM - 08 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @reallifemommy3 22. MommyCocktail @MommyCocktail My kiddo came into my room, kissed my forehead and said “I’m sorry you’re fat.” How’s your morning? 02:40 PM - 05 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MommyCocktail 23. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: Be good for your mom while I'm gone this weekend. 10-year-old: We'll be just like we are for you. Me: Please don't do that. 02:45 PM - 05 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn 24. Marcy G @BunAndLeggings My 5yo and 6yo are playing restaurant. My 6yo's restaurant has a no baby policy. My 5yo has 5 babies and is very angry about this. She's causing a whole scene at the restaurant. The babies are crying, it's crazy. I'm trying my best not to get involved in this. 11:11 PM - 03 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @BunAndLeggings 25. Jessie @mommajessiec My toddler got a hold of the markers. I caught her red handed. Purple handed, too. 12:47 PM - 01 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mommajessiec 26. Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness 79% of parenting during summer is asking kids to close the doors 08:28 PM - 03 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Chhapiness 27. One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom Me as a child: 20 years from now our cars will fly My kids today: Mom, the roomba is stuck under the couch again 04:32 PM - 06 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @oneawkwardmom 28. Daddy Go Fish @daddygofish Me: It’s such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over you’re sitting in my imaginary dog’s spot. 08:49 PM - 06 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @daddygofish 29. Mommy Needs A Life @mom_needsalife Working from home while your kids are home is like trying to read a book at a Metallica concert. 12:43 PM - 04 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mom_needsalife 30. NicholasG @Dad_At_Law Watching a documentary on Ancient Egypt when my 5 y/o stops in front of the TV, drops her jaw and says, “THEY WROTE ON WALLS? You’re not supposed to write on walls!” 12:06 PM - 04 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Dad_At_Law 31. KJ @IDontSpeakWhine My daughter told me that she won't be having kids because she feels like she'd end up with one like my son who is trying to lick his elbow right now 12:30 AM - 01 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IDontSpeakWhine 32. Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 My kid has informed me that her new camp has ponies but no unicorns, she wasn’t upset, she just wanted to make sure that I understood that I had let her down 12:44 PM - 10 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @reallifemommy3 33. One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom I choked on some water earlier and during my coughing fit, my 4yo asked me to be quiet so he could hear the tv. It’s safe to say I should start saving for a nursing home now. 03:30 PM - 04 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @oneawkwardmom 34. I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids Find me someone more helpless than a parent who is fully clothed with a kid who refuses to get out of the pool 09:03 PM - 05 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids 35. Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad My kid really doesn’t like being called a liar. Especially when he’s lying. 12:28 PM - 03 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @kevinthedad 36. One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom At this point in my life, hot mom summer is just when it takes me too long to get the kids buckled into their car seats 04:39 PM - 08 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @oneawkwardmom 37. MumInBits @MumInBits 5 was in bed for a while then she yelled “mummy come here” and I yelled back “why?” then she yelled “I haven’t thought of a reason yet” 08:51 PM - 03 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MumInBits 38. Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues “If you make me go to bed momma, I’ll kick you in the balls.” ~ My 5 year old, still figuring out threats 01:11 AM - 01 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @momsense_ensues 39. Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ @maryfairybobrry I called off work this morning but my boss demanded I get out of bed and now I’m making him another snack because apparently I cut the first one the wrong way 12:55 PM - 07 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @maryfairybobrry 40. Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad I think I’m a great dad but my 5yo thinks I’m an even better hand towel 03:28 AM - 09 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @kevinthedad 41. Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues Me: I need to clip your toenails. 8: (big sigh) this was supposed to be a good day. 03:07 PM - 08 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @momsense_ensues 42. threetimedaddy 🇺🇦 @threetimedaddy Before I had kids I had no idea peeling a banana could make another human so angry 06:19 PM - 09 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @threetimedaddy 43. Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking please send thoughts and prayers for 7. he was "forced" to eat a blue popsicle because his brother ate the red one before he could. i only hope we can get through this. 07:31 PM - 09 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @dadmann_walking 44. That Mom Tho @mom_tho have kids so you can wish they’d leave you alone and when they’re out of the house you fondly scroll through 8000 pics of them 07:22 PM - 09 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mom_tho 45. A Bearer Of Dad News @HomeWithPeanut My 6-year-old heard his 1st Five Finger Death Punch song & said, "what in the world is THIS nonsense?" Next, he'll be yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn. 12:29 PM - 09 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @HomeWithPeanut 46. My Life As Dad @milifeasdad Of course my kids are well mannered because when I tell them things like get ready for bed, they politely ask me “Did mommy say that?" 02:14 PM - 08 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @milifeasdad 47. meghan @deloisivete My 4yo was pretending to be a cat before bed, then meowed a few times in his sleep. Now that is commitment to a bit 12:39 PM - 10 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @deloisivete 48. Science Mom 🔬 @EmSlyce at our house, bedtime seems to be less of a routine and more of a hostage negotiation 12:27 AM - 28 Jul 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @EmSlyce 49. Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78 If I could go back in time, I’d shake my younger self and scream “enjoy every minute!” every time I complained about literally anything pre-kids. 02:51 PM - 09 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @SnarkyMommy78 50. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: Do you have any school papers for me to sign? 8-year-old: Yes. Me: Where are they? 8: At school. 01:57 PM - 09 Aug 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn If you think these parents are as funny as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter!