19 Interracial Family Truths Straight From The Mouths Of The Parents
"My son literally has to carry a picture of me with him everywhere because no one believes I'm his mother."
1. "My son literally has to carry a picture of me with him everywhere because no one believes I'm his mother."
2. "You come face-to-face with your own biases. I didn't really realize I had any biases until I had my daughter and realized that she has the features of all the girls who made middle school so hard for me."
3. "My husband is black, and I'm half Mexican and half white. My daughter has struggled with how to answer when someone asks her 'what she is.' So I've taught her to say, 'I'm AWESOME!'"
4. "Every single nurse in the delivery room asked if my partner was the baby's father. Nope, just a random guy I met in a bar that wanted to watch a birth."
5. "You can't predict how genetics will work in interracial families. But sometimes if you look closer, you'll see that we do actually look alike. Features are more than just skin color."
6. "Openly racist family members will use your children as an example that they're not racist. 'How can I be racist? My nephew is half Asian!'"
7. "I'm Caucasian and my kids' father is Mexican so they have a Spanish last name. Well, I went to my son's school for the first time for his parent-teacher conference, and there was a random stranger of Spanish descent sitting at the table with us. When the teachers started talking, they directed everything they said to her. That's when I realized she was an INTERPRETER! Their faces couldn't have been more red than when I told them I understand English perfectly!"
8. "Saying that my baby looks nothing like me is rude. Saying they look just like me when they don't is unnecessary. But feel free to comment on their spunk, their energy, anything other than their physical appearance."
9. "I've pretty much heard it all, but nothing beats the woman at the park who gushed over how well I interacted with my sons, and asked how long I've been their foster mom."
10. "It really does take a village to raise a biracial child. Don't be afraid to seek out help from friends and family of the other side of your child's heritage."
11. "While my daughter and I were waiting at the bus stop, a little girl asked her, 'Why does your mom have such white skin?' But instead of her mom using that as a teachable moment about interracial families, her mom replied, 'Hush, dear, it's winter.'"
12. "I wish I realized sooner that it's OK to cut off racist family members. You don't need to keep anyone in your life that makes you uncomfortable, even if they are family."
13. "I'm constantly mistaken for my kids' nanny. I honestly worry that someone will call CPS whenever my daughter has a tantrum in public!"
14. "That the blending of cultures in our mixed families keeps things interesting."
15. "That having an interracial family is not a big deal. So don't make it one."
16. "Our daughter is both a beautiful mix of us and her own person. I hope she doesn't grow up to think her race is the only thing that's unique about her."
17. "The most challenging part so far is the cultural differences in how my husband and I were raised. We each try to raise our son the way we were raised and we both think 'our way' is right. But it's a balancing act — and our son will have the perfect mix of both."
18. "That some white moms CAN actually do their mixed daughter's hair."
19. "I'm white, my husband is black, we're pregnant with my first baby girl. I worry that I'm setting my daughter up for life as an outcast because she doesn't fit in with either racial group. I also worry about the current political state of our country and my daughter's safety. I wish she could live in a world where none of that matters."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.