23 People Shared The Hilarious Things They Believed As Kids And I'm Side-Eyeing Y'all's Parents
"When I was little, I thought that people who died in movies actually died and had signed up to be killed for the scene."
We recently shared a post in which people shared the hilarious things they learned embarrassingly late, and they were seriously, seriously funny:
So naturally, some of our readers commented with the adorably clueless things they believed as kids, and it gave me allll the chuckles:
1. "When I was 8, I left some dollar bills in my pants pocket and put them through the wash. When I realized what I'd done, I ran crying to my grandparents, saying I was going to be arrested and thrown in jail for 'money laundering.'"
2. "My dad was watching America's Most Wanted once, and he told me that a serial killer was someone who jumped out of your cereal box and killed you. I didn't eat cereal for a good year."
—Monique Bourget, Facebook
3. "When I was little, I thought that very tiny people worked the streetlights; they had shifts and their job was to sit in that light and decide when to turn it green."
—Christine Vallée, Facebook
4. "I thought assault and battery was a crime someone committed against your car because I thought they were saying 'salt in battery.'"
5. "When I was little, I thought that people who died in movies actually died and had signed up to be killed for the scene."
6. "I thought the road sign 'No Outlet' meant that the houses in that area didn't have electric outlets. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why someone would want to live there."
—Katie Adrig-Maruska, Facebook
7. "When I was a kid, I somehow got it into my head that everyone had a limited amount of blood at birth, and that once you ran out, kaput. I would get so scared every time I scraped my knees!"
8. "My younger brother thought 'The Star-Spangled Banner' began with, 'Jose, can you see?' He was in sixth grade when I finally corrected him."
—Oludolapo Ojutiku, Facebook
9. "When I was 9 years old, I feigned being sick at school so I could go home and watch TV. When the school nurse asked me what was wrong, I confidently replied, 'Morning sickness.' Her eyes went wide, and it took me a decade to figure out why."
—Sophia Jafri, Facebook
10. "I thought drinking and driving meant any type of drink, so I would always get nervous when my parents drank a Coke or water while driving."
11. "When I was 5, I thought my poop was brown because I'm Black. My mom is white, and I remember asking her if her poop came out lighter."
12. "In the '90s, I'd heard Barbara Bush referred to as the 'first lady,' so I looked up her birth date to learn when humanity spawned. My answer was sometime around 1925."
—Kira Dooset, Facebook
13. "I remember when I was young and we were learning about how mixing two different-colored crayons made a third color. Well, I thought it applied to everything in life, so I assumed that if a Black and a white person had a baby together, the baby would be Hispanic."
14. "As a kid, I totally thought the world was in black and white until the 'invention' of color because of all the black-and-white pictures I'd seen."
—Taz Whitley, Facebook
15. "I thought 'Custody' was a town where they took all the bad people. News reports always said, 'The criminal was reprimanded and taken into custody,' and I remember wondering where that was, and hoping it wasn't near where I lived."
—Rach S-p, Facebook
16. "When I was a kid, I thought the 'black market' was a place. I pictured it as a dimly lit mall that people went to after dark."
17. "I grew up in Florida, and I remember noticing the food labels that used the term 'FL oz.' and wondering why each state had its own form of ounces, and if 'Florida ounces' were bigger than 'Georgia ounces.'"
—Carlos Antonio Saldaña, Facebook
18. "When I was a kid, I thought Jesus got crucified every year on Good Friday and that they kept killing him because he kept coming back on Easter. I felt really sorry for him and wondered why he didn't just stop coming around, considering he knew what was going to happen."
—Kelly Villanueva, Facebook
19. "As a child, I always thought commercials were shown live, and I was so confused when I saw kids in them when I was home sick, like, How are they allowed to constantly miss school?"
20. "I'd heard the name 'succotash' countless times when I was a kid, and I thought it was just a vegetable I hadn't seen before...
"It wasn't until later, when I was working in a frozen-foods warehouse, that I saw a box of succotash torn open. That's when I realized it was basically corn and lima beans."