Internet Finds·Posted on Nov 21, 202233 Seriously Funny Married People Who Are So Brutally Hysterical On Twitter Someone Needs To Stop Them"I love when my husband says, 'Correct me if I'm wrong,' like I would ever pass up that opportunity."by Asia McLainBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail We rounded up some of the funniest recent marriage tweets we could find, and they are blaringly funny: 1. MumOfTwo @MumOfTw0 I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity. 07:40 PM - 15 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MumOfTw0 2. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Hell hath no fury like a woman who told you exactly where something is but now has to get it herself because you couldn't find it. 05:17 PM - 16 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn 3. The Dad @thedad Been listening to my wife talk about her work drama and I’m trying to think of the best way to let her know I love her but I think I’m on Denise’s side on this one. 12:07 AM - 18 Oct 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @thedad 4. Darla @ddsmidt My husband listens to me like he doesn’t realize there’s going to be a quiz later. 11:23 PM - 03 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ddsmidt 5. Daddy Go Fish @daddygofish Marriage is amazing because you learn lots of things about yourself. For example, today I learned that my favorite shade of beige curtains is I DON’T CARE PLEASE JUST PICK ONE I’M IN HELL 12:34 AM - 15 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @daddygofish 6. Jessie @mommajessiec DATING: Goodnight ENGAGED: Sweet dreams MARRIED: Is the car locked? 01:39 PM - 15 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mommajessiec 7. Simon Holland @simoncholland Not sure if my wife didn't hear me say I was coming down with a cold or if she is ignoring me. Guess I'd better mention it another 67 times. 11:13 PM - 18 Oct 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @simoncholland 8. I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids Imagine dating, falling in love, getting married, having kids, and only then realizing that the person you chose is literally incapable of whispering 04:05 PM - 01 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids 9. One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom The audacity of my husband not understanding exactly what I’m talking about when I start my sentence halfway through a thought 08:12 PM - 13 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @oneawkwardmom 10. Ousa Medusa @MedusaOusa Marriage is 33.7% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet. 03:50 PM - 07 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MedusaOusa 11. An Apple Hat @AnAppleHat Establish dominance in your marriage by watching all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls under your husband's Netflix profile 11:54 AM - 01 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @AnAppleHat 12. Jawbreaker @sixfootcandy My husband decided to learn Moonlight Sonata on the piano and he’s been playing it nonstop for over two hours now. I think this is how true crime novels begin. 05:16 PM - 11 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @sixfootcandy 13. Dan Regan @Social_Mime My wife has this cute way of saying I need to do something by saying we need to do something. 09:14 PM - 03 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Social_Mime 14. Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 I'm your wife. You might remember me from such hits as "We are leaving in two minutes" and its sequel "Why are you in the shower?" 02:47 AM - 10 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @sarcasticmommy4 15. Diedrich Bader @bader_diedrich So i just learned after 27 years of “umm…sure i guess so, yeah but the other one looked nice too” i have been fired as my wife’s fashion consultant and my daughter now has that job 09:34 PM - 12 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @bader_diedrich 16. Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty Asked my husband if he’d put air in my tire and he started explaining how to do it like he’s never been married to me before. 04:13 PM - 16 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @bekindofwitty 17. ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl marriage is between two people, one who falls asleep with TV volume on low and one who wants it blaringly loud 08:03 PM - 03 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ElyKreimendahl 18. inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant Behind every great man is a better woman, just don't tell his wife 10:27 PM - 10 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @sonictyrant 19. MumOfTwo @MumOfTw0 My husband misses a lot of really good conversations I have with him in my head. 03:21 PM - 13 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MumOfTw0 20. Jessie @mommajessiec IKEA needs to provide better descriptions on their furniture like, what is the divorce rate on assembling this tv stand? 03:47 PM - 30 Oct 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mommajessiec 21. Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking Apparently after your wife finishes a pint of ice cream the correct response is not "holy shit I've never been able to finish a whole pint". 02:30 AM - 07 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @dadmann_walking 22. Anna @AnnaDoesntWant2 Married couples be like I’m gonna tolerate the shit out of you tonight 12:12 PM - 16 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @AnnaDoesntWant2 23. Simon Holland @simoncholland Hope my marriage can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan. 02:46 PM - 09 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @simoncholland 24. Jawbreaker @sixfootcandy Husband: What should we do today? Me: It’s up to you. Husband: Beach? Me: No. Husband: Movie? Me: No. Husband: Museum? Me: No. Husband: Then what do you want to do? Me: I don’t care. You choose. 06:19 PM - 04 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @sixfootcandy 25. Dan Regan @Social_Mime My wife can make "Can you come in here please?" sound absolutely terrifying. 02:49 PM - 03 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Social_Mime 26. Jessie @mommajessiec Netflix needs a Movies Your Husband Will Fall Asleep To So You Can Watch The Lindsay Lohan Christmas Movie category. 06:19 PM - 12 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mommajessiec 27. Simon Holland @simoncholland Me: Which ones do you think will make me jump higher? Wife: OMG you’re 44 years old, just pick a pair of shoes already. 12:15 AM - 07 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @simoncholland 28. 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 @3sunzzz My husband changed his brand of boxers for the first time in 35 years. I feel like I'm having an affair. 04:31 PM - 06 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @3sunzzz 29. An Apple Hat @AnAppleHat Marriage can be such a rollercoaster. One minute you're reminiscing over your wedding photos and the next you're asking your partner to please breathe more quietly. 11:57 PM - 16 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @AnAppleHat 30. Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness What do you say when you apologize to your wife and she asks, “for what” 02:35 AM - 16 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Chhapiness 31. Jessie @mommajessiec I once showed my husband a tweet and he read it out loud starting with the person’s username and date it was tweeted and I’ve never really recovered from that. 06:23 PM - 14 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mommajessiec 32. Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 My husband ate all the good Halloween candy and now I have to look for a divorce lawyer 03:13 AM - 07 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @reallifemommy3 33. Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking my wife is getting the Christmas decorations out. I heard a loud crash and a "ah shit!". I feel the Christmas spirit. 03:23 AM - 13 Nov 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @dadmann_walking If you think these married people are as funny as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter!