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    31 Brutally Hysterical Parents Whose Kids Inspired Some Seriously Funny Tweets

    "Kids are like hurricanes. You give them a name, they destroy your house, then they leave."

    There's no question about it — being a parent can be downright hilarious.

    So it's a good thing we have the hilariously honest parents on Twitter to keep it all the way real:


    My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house.

    Twitter: @itssherifield


    My 4-year-old forgot the word microwave & called it a warm fridge instead.

    Twitter: @HomeWithPeanut


    (my 5-year-old daughter does a cartwheel) Me: That was great! Do you want to try gymnastics classes? Or dance? You get to wear fun costumes and do shows. Her: No. I want to be a normal person and do nothing.

    Twitter: @MarlaCaceres


    My little girl is fiercely independent. She won't even hold hands on a walk because she "doesn't need help!" So when I felt her reach up and gently hold my hand as we walked into the first day of kindergarten I teared up. Then she dragged it across her slimy nose like a kleenex.

    Twitter: @HenpeckedHal


    Working from home while your kids are home is like trying to read a book at a Metallica concert.

    Twitter: @mom_needsalife


    4 pm: 5 pm: 6 pm: 7 pm: 8 pm: 9 pm: 9:59 pm: 12 year old: I need some glitter, crayons and posterboard for school tomorrow

    Twitter: @traciebreaux


    My toddler climbed out of her crib and my first thought was “Why don’t they make some kind of lid or attachment for the top of these things?” Then I realized thaaaaat’s a cage.

    Twitter: @HoneyMustardMa


    My 6-year-old is sick with a cough, so I told him gargling with warm salt water can help. He looked at me & said, "I'm NOT going all the way to the ocean right now."

    Twitter: @HomeWithPeanut


    My kids are fighting because my 11yo filled my 6yo's Minecraft house with cats. There's like 100 cats in the house and she can't get rid of them. As a parent I don't know how to handle this situation lol

    Twitter: @BunAndLeggings


    I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you haven’t opened your kids backpack since the end of last school year, just throw the whole thing away.

    Twitter: @michimama75


    Watching a documentary on Ancient Egypt when my 5 y/o stops in front of the TV, drops her jaw and says, “THEY WROTE ON WALLS? You’re not supposed to write on walls!”

    Twitter: @Dad_At_Law


    Kids are like hurricanes. You give them a name, they destroy your house and then they leave.

    Twitter: @MedusaOusa


    Asked my son if he could go anywhere in the world, where would he go? He said, McDonald’s. I said no, like a country. He said, OHHHH okay…McDonald’s in Japan.

    Twitter: @StruggleDisplay


    I just learned the word "bussin" from Urban Dictionary and will now be using it exclusively in front of my 12-year-old to ruin her life.

    Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn


    Having a 5yo and a pre-teen is interesting because I have a kid that thinks I know everything and I have a kid that thinks I know nothing.

    Twitter: @BunAndLeggings


    Kids be like, I see you’ve just made yourself comfortable, I have manufactured several emergencies requiring your immediate attention.

    Twitter: @Dad_At_Law


    It’s so hard to make mom friends, why can’t we just bond over the fact that we’ve all caught vomit in our hands

    Twitter: @oneawkwardmom


    Nobody keeps it real quite like a kid drawing your portrait

    Twitter: @KatieDeal99


    We were going to watch a TV show as a family but my kids are watching other kids on YouTube watch TV with their families.

    Twitter: @simoncholland


    My 7yo told us she had a dream that she came downstairs late last night and saw us eating cake and omg I can’t believe that actually worked

    Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids


    When I said “goodnight kiddo, I love you” did I somehow give you the impression that I wanted to see you again before morning

    Twitter: @reallifemommy3


    Motherhood is spending all day Sunday deep cleaning the house your family spent the whole week destroying then repeating until death

    Twitter: @mommeh_dearest


    My wife just had to explain to our 5yo that you “don’t put butter in a smoothie”

    Twitter: @kevinthedad


    Not to brag but I can make my kids angry by just saying “good morning.”

    Twitter: @sarcasticmommy4


    My biggest disappointment giving birth was that the nurse didn’t raise my baby into the air and sing the Circle of Life as she handed her to me

    Twitter: @reallifemommy3


    My kid carries around an emotional support squash named Gary. How’s your family doing?

    Twitter: @AnnaDoesntWant2


    Toddlers are terrible at hide n seek unless you’re not actually playing, then they’re suddenly masters of illusion, nowhere to be found.

    Twitter: @bekindofwitty


    ‘You birthed a human’ I mutter under my breath as I wrestle to get the sleeping bag back into the sleeping bag bag

    Twitter: @IHideFromMyKids


    Here's a little song I wrote about the kids going back to school it's called "OH THANK GOD" and a one and a two

    Twitter: @RodLacroix


    Coffee mugs that say "I'll sleep when I'm dead" should be handed out to parents the day their kids are born

    Twitter: @IDontSpeakWhine


    6-year-old: I can tie my shoes now. It's easy. Me: So what's your next challenge? 6: Driving.

    Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn

    If you think these parents are as funny as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter!