OK, real talk, parents: Being quarantined with the kiddos 24/7 the past few months has been amazing and wonderful...but hard, really hard, y'all.
Well, here are 22 seriously funny parents who are hanging by a teeny-tiny thread right about now and not afraid to tweet hilariously about it:
1.
Homeschooling is tough. For example, today I had to tell my son he didn’t make our baseball team.
2.
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of spending quarantine binging Netflix we can tape balloons to our car and drive by some 7 year old’s house.
3.
That guy at the bar who laughs at all his own jokes that go on for way too long and thinks he’s way funnier than he is, but it’s my 5 year old.
4.
5-year-old: Dad, when you were a kid, was there technology? Me: Of course. 5: Like fire?
5.
We were playing “under the sea” tonight. My 3yo was a scuba diver, I was a shark, and you know who my wife chose to be? The fucking coral. So she could just sit there. Genius. Absolutely genius.
6.
I sure hope my son touches his penis less in real school than he does at homeschool....
7.
My kids asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day & I said for there to be no arguing & then they all started arguing about who would probably be the first one to start an argument.
8.
being a parent is hearing your kids in their rooms and suddenly realizing that your own parents heard you talking all that shit in your room and just pretended like they didn’t
9.
My son just sang, “Boat’s n’ Hoe’s” to his elderly choir teacher on zoom so I think that about wraps up homeschool for today.
10.
My children wanted to play restaurant and are very upset because I told them my place does not allow kids
11.
We’re all in this together? That’s so great to hear. My two year old just shit through our wicker patio furniture. See you in an hour, please bring a sponge.
12.
I didn’t think 2020 could get much worse but our 3 year old has found a harmonica and a xylophone
13.
[LOUD CRASHES IN KIDS ROOM] Me: what is going on in there? [SCREAMS COMING FROM KIDS ROOM] ME: okay that's enough *opens door* Kids:
14.
5-year-old: When can I use the big girl cup? Me: Which one is that? 5: The one Mom uses for wine.
15.
Our homeschool dismissal bell sounds less like a ding and more like me crying.
16.
A pandemic is no excuse for excessive screen time. Study after study has shown that electronics are harmful to young minds. I’ve made the difficult decision to limit my children’s iPad use to no more than 14 hours a day and I hope you do the same.
17.
I love to open my windows to let in the beautiful weather and so my neighbors can learn my kids' middle names.
18.
I just had to run my daughter a second bath because the first, and I quote, had a hair in it
19.
The kids are using up all of my mimosa juice. I hate it here.
20.
We’ve been giving my 4-year-old a dollar for every time she does a chore. She leaves the dollar in random places and forgets about it - so we’ve been using the same dollar over and over again. You call it unfair - I call it finders keepers and teaching valuable life lessons.
21.
Kids are the best magicians I know. Within minutes of waking up, they can make their parents' patience disappear.
22.
Me: I wish I could go back to a less stressful time Husband: Like February? Me: More like 8 years ago 7: Hey then you wouldn’t have any kids!! Me: ᴵᵗ ʷᵃˢ ˢᵒ ᵖᵉᵃᶜᵉᶠᵘˡ