1.
I hate going to weddings because I always wake up to a video someone took of me drunk dancing
2.
On my wedding day I’ll prob look so pretty that I get cocky and suggest we see other people
3.
The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
4.
it's cool that if planning a wedding doesn't kill u then u get to be married
5.
I've Never Seen A Groom Or A Bride Going To The Toilet On Their Wedding Day... Do They Wear Pampers?😊
6.
The older I get the more I want to know exactly how Katherine Heigl's character could afford to be a bridesmaid in 27 weddings.
7.
when i get married im gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they'll know about the wedding but won't be allowed to go
8.
People’s put the weirdest shit on their wedding registries. What the fuck are you going to do with a crystal duck Katie?
9.
[inventing wedding dresses] a massive skirt! more skirt! MORE now, put a skirt over her face! god ya that’s the stuff
10.
[Wedding meal] *taps wine glass until everyone stops talking and I stand up to speak* I need more wine
11.
[WEDDING] ME: I do. PRIEST: Could you say it again without the air quotes?
12.
Wedding vows, but it's just me letting you have one of my French fries.
13.
Sometimes I’ll sign a wedding guestbook with something inspirational: “1 out of 5 stars: would not recommend”
14.
Great idea, let's write our own wedding vows. I can't think of a better way to kick off my eternity with you than a homework assignment.
15.
future husband, @ our wedding: isn't this the best day of your life? me, thinking of the day I first heard Everytime We Touch: it's up there
16.
I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer.
17.
How are you suppose to RSVP to a wedding invite when they leave out crucial details like the WiFi situation?
18.
Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall
19.
Welcome to my rustic wedding, eat these twigs bitch
20.
sorry but I can not attend your wedding as your lack of nacho cheese fountain does not fit my personal brand
21.
[phone w/ fiancé] Hey, I can still pick whatever suit I like for the wedding right? "As long as its black, why?" *wearing batsuit* No reason