1. This kid, who knows an insult when he hears it:
Me to my son: You remind me of me. Son: That's just mean.
2. This kid, who didn't mean to hurt her dad's feelings:
My 6yo daughter just caught me getting out of the shower. "It looks like a minion!"
3. This kid, who's not calling you gross...yet:
6yo: Mommy, when you get older will you look all gross? Me: What do you mean, 'gross'? 6yo: Like how you are now, but wrinklier.
4. This kid, who questions your fashion sense:
Kid in Gavin's class: Is Gavin going to have a baby sister? Me: No...why? Kid: Oh sorry...I misunderstood your dress. #kidburn
5. This kid, who has zero faith in your cooking skills:
Me: We all make mistakes. 5: Even you? Me: Yep 5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
6. And this kid, who has zero faith in your direction:
10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck. 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
7. This kid, who thinks you could have done better:
Me: Please get dressed. 9yo: But you're still in your pajamas! Me: I AM dressed. 9yo: Is that what you're calling [waves palm at me] this?
8. This kid, who keeps it all the way one-hundred:
Words still resounding in my head since breakfast, 'Look! It's a picture of Mama before she got saggy..' #honestyofchildren 😕
9. This kid, who has their priorities straight:
4-year-old: Can we get a kitten? Me: I'm allergic. We can't be in the same house. 4: You could sleep outside.
10. This kid, who's just curious:
"Mommy does my butt wiggle when I walk like yours does?" #kidhonesty
11. This kid, who's not saying you look old in real life, but:
B: is that an old picture mom? Me: no that's me 6 weeks ago B: you look younger in photos #kidburn
12. This kid, who is not interested in your sappiness:
Me: "How many kisses do you need from me?" 3yo: "Probably just zero."
13. And this kid, who lets you know when you've let yourself go a little:
Daughter: "You need to fix my hair before we go." Son: "You don't have to look nice. Look at mom. See?" #kidhonesty #parentingprobs
14. This kid, who will roast you in the sweetest way possible:
When Bea was 3: 3yo: I love u the mostest. Me: I love u my tiniest baby. 3yo: I love u my oldest Mommy. My fossil Mom. You are a fossil.
15. This kid, who notices the details:
Berlyn: "daddy, ur hair is growing in the wrong direction! Its going back in ur head instead of out!".ouch! #kidsaretoohonest
16. This kid, who will sure as hell hold you accountable:
Me "ugh I ate a lot today..." Payton "it's not just today mom." #KidsAreTooHonest
17. And this kid, who may just have the burn to end all burns ever:
Me to my 5-yr-old, balancing precariously on a stool: "Be careful - that's not very stable!" Her: "YOU'RE not very stable!" #kidburn