We asked parents of transgender children in the BuzzFeed Community what they want people to know about having a transgender kid, and their responses were both informative and poignant:
1. "Never assume that a child is just 'going through a phase.' Let them figure it out."
2. "That their decision to transition has nothing to do with being 'just gay' or not."
3. "Try to use their pronouns, do some research to try and understand them, try to talk to them about how they feel and what they want. Try to be there for them. Just try."
4. "It's not about just playing dress-up. It's about who they are."
5. "You're going to slip up sometimes and refer to your trans child by the wrong pronoun or their birth name, and that's OK — don't beat yourself up over it. Your kid understands, I promise."
6. "Reach out to your local LGBTQ youth centers. They have tons of resources to support both trans kids and their families."
7. "That your child's unique personality — their sweet soul, wit, or sense of humor — is still the same as they always were. But they're even better now that your child is comfortable in their own skin."
8. "Being a single parent with a trans kid can be challenging if your child doesn't feel comfortable coming out to their other parent yet. I feel like I'm doing it wrong all the time...but my trans kid is my hero."
9. "Choose your child over what other people think. You might lose relatives and friends, but your child needs you most."
10. "Don't assume that a trans kid necessarily wants to be the total opposite of the gender they were born. My child dresses in a unique, eclectic mix of masculine and feminine that makes them who they are. And they can have the best of both worlds."
11. "Fighting with the insurance company for hormone treatment for your child can be a winning battle. You just have to be persistent."
12. "Sometimes it's hard to accept that my kid will always be different from others. I cry because I know that not everyone will accept them — and honestly, I'm still struggling to accept them as they are. But I'm learning that it's OK not to have all the answers and to take things one day at a time."
13. "Counseling is key. My child transitioned this year from female to male and at first, I was in denial. We fought about it constantly until we decided to save those conversations for a counseling session. There, we found a safe place we could both express our feelings without getting angry. And now we talk about it openly and have a great relationship."
14. "You have to be ready to advocate for your child. When they persistently, consistently, and insistently tell you they are trans, they are."
—Elizabeth Langley, Facebook
15. "Acknowledging our child as the person they were born to be was the happiest moment of their life. It was as if a light switch was flipped — we went from having an angry, raging 5-year-old to a blossoming, happy 6-year-old. By loving our child unconditionally, they began to soar."
16. "My younger sibling transitioned from male to female, and I was sad about the little brother I felt I was losing, until one night I had a long chat with my dad about it. I asked him if he thought my new sister would be happy. He replied, 'I am not so naive to believe she will always be perfectly happy. But I'm not so heartless as to not hope for it.'"
"That's when I realized that as long as the child has a loving community to be with them through the hard times, they can take on anything."
17. "It's not as bad as you think it's going to be. Just love your kid, and you'll get through it together."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.