She Got a Bad Case of the Chalupas.
I turn 26 in less than 2 hours, and I've been thinking hard about when I realized I was a real "grown up". As I thought down a list of so called milestone events- graduation from college, working on my first professional acting gig, moving to a townhouse, paying actual utility bills- nothing really spoke to me. I mean, I'm sure I had a moment during all those events where life smacked me in the face with the reality of aging, but I honestly have to say the second I knew I was a grown-ass woman was the day I got Taco Bell for the 1 millionth time in my life, got two bites in, and barfed.
It was bittersweet for me. Not just the taste of my Chalupa for the second time, but the realization that I could no longer stomach the ways of my youth.
It wasn't even late. It was 6:30pm and I thought my stomach was going to commit suicide. Those two bites took me by the reigns and pulled me to a unexpected halt. Literally, I stopped the car and puked out the window. If that's not a clear cut sign, I don't know what is. I wasn't embarrassed, I was scared.
Now what? What else can't I do anymore? I spent the next week doing everything I could think of that I did in college to see if I could still do it. I was cranky when I stayed up past midnight. I had to eat three meals a day to keep my blood sugar from nose diving, and I watched the news instead of The Real Housewives. I put a pair of Michael Kors shoes back because groceries were more important. Since when is eating more important than shoes?
That was around age 24. It's like a type of menopause for twenty something kicks in and BOOM. Everything changes. I think I even got a hot flash or two. I'm sure there were signs well before the Chalupa incident, but for some reason, I wasn't ready to acknowledge them.
Look, I'm not an old fart by any means. Sometimes I have my moments where I want to stay up all night and dance with strangers at places that smell like the inside of a toilet. Fortunately, those moments are now few and far between, but they happen at the perfect moments to remind me that I am still me. Just a little older. And little wiser. Depending on the day. I like to think of this change as a type of metamorphosis. You don't really change completely, you just evolve. But you still you, dawg. You just a new you that needs to chill out and focus.
For those of you who haven't had your Taco Bell Moment of Truth, don't worry. It'll happen. Just make sure you shove in as much irresponsible fun as you can before it does, just to be safe. That way, you'll have more ideas to save for afterwards to get you into the occasional trouble.
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