10 New Year's Resolutions Already Broken

    Another year, another set of resolutions shot right to hell. Oh well, there's always next year to dust yourself off and try again. Or maybe the year after that.

    Ash
    by Ash

    Community Contributor

    • Tried to think footloose and fancy free and get a Tigger tattoo on back. Had momentary bought of depression and got an Eeyore on ass.

    • No more monkey/dog hybrid experiments. Monkey/octopus hybrid okay, because that would be damn cool.

    • Try not to take kid to an "adult novelty store".

    • Forcing the dog to strip.

    • Hooked up with that wookie that knows your best friends brother. Again.

    • Stop telling people about my multi pass.

    • Smoking.

    • Promised to stop showing up as Dr. Frankenfurter at work.

    • Eat more squril and rabit.

    • Nightly attempt to take over the world.