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Why Alicia Keys Is The Worst Waitress Of All Time

In "You Don't Know My Name", what AK intended to be a lyrical ditty about an innocent work crush turned into a blatant violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

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1. She got his contact information out of the free lunch bowl at the restaurant.

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So is he getting that free sandwich or nah?

2. Therefore calling him on his work land line or cell phone.

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If the company gets audited, he could go down for this.

3. And also means she technically took company property.

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Who gets away with stealing from the job? Oh wait...

4. She admits to going against company protocol to make his hot chocolate.

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The manager explicitly states that she should be using water but she uses milk AND cream instead.

5. She memorizes his outfits.

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If this ever went to the court of law, she might just sound like she was a stalker. MIGHT.

6. She daydreams during billable hours.

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Girl, you know you need the money! You better get back to work!

But this was all just a dream and she never had the courage to speak to him. Guess she's a better waitress than we imagined.

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