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14 Of The Most ROFL Lines By Chetan Bhagat

India's most commercially successful and ruthlessly criticized author. We wonder why.

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1. "Why should any guy want to be only friends with a girl? It's like agreeing to be near a chocolate cake and never eat it. It's like sitting in a racing car but not driving it."

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Guys should not make friends with girls. They should eat all the chocolate cake they see then somehow get into a race car and drive off with it laughing like a madman.

2. "The word "future" and females is a dangerous combination."

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We must learn how to procreate without females.

3. "When a woman comes into your life, things organize themselves."

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... just.. wow!

4. "She had perfect features, with her eye, nose, lips, and ears the right size and in right places. That is all it takes to make people beautiful, normal body parts – yet why does nature mess it up so many times?"

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Beware of the many freaks of nature.

5. "her long neck, long arms and long legs held everyone's attention."

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I like long limbs and I cannot lie.

6. "Pretty girls behave best when you ignore them.."

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Don't EVER talk to a pretty girl. Instead run far, far away.

7. ... Of course, they have to know you are ignoring them, for otherwise they may not even know you exist."

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Does she or does she not know I'm ignoring her? Hmmmmn.

8. "Marble flooring is to a Punjabi what a foreign degree is to a Tamilian"

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MARBLE FLOORING!! OMG!!

FOREIGN DEGREE!! OMG!

9. "Nothing soothes an upset Punjabi like dairy products."

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If you get jumped by a Sardar.. Give him some milk.

10. "Ananya's father passed me a banana leaf. I wondered if i had to eat it or wipe my hands with it."

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When someone gives me any plant matter. My first impulse is to eat it.

11. "When you have said something nice, don't be in a hurry to speak again and ruin the good line."

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Savor the moment.

12. "I may not be a great surgeon, but the one little heart I have, I have given to you."

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Surgeons have many, many hearts. Hearts within hearts. So. Many. Hearts.

13. "Mothers give birth, but ultimately, the coke belongs to the guy who puts the coin in the vending machine."

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Females are apparently glorified coke vending machines.

14. "The real middle class India that has always been looking for a voice that is its very own. I write about it because I belong to it."

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Study in one of the best Engineering colleges..

Study in one of the best management colleges.

Spend many years abroad working as an investment banker earning sackfuls of money.

Pretend to be average Middle Class guy.

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