Lost In Translation - Southern Edition

A guide for all outta towners passin' through.

1. He could eat corn through a picket fence!

Simply a slyer way of saying, "Damn he's got some jacked up bucked teeth!"

2. I'm finer than a frog hair split four ways!

Ahem, an ironic way to answer the question, "How are you," when you are feeling just fantastic.

I know what you're thinking...frogs don't have hair? That's why it's funny.

3. He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

Meaning, "He is so full of himself!"

Alternate sayings," He thinks the world revolves around him!" or "OMG he is so conceited!"

4. You are about as useless as tits on a bull!

Straight up, "You are useless," with even more emphasis on just how useless you are.

5. Buggy

This is not a short version of horse and buggy or a Volkswagen Beetle. This is the southern word for what you might call a shopping cart, wagon or trolley. Duh.

6. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

Don't worry, nobody expects you to slather butter across their butt. This phrase is used as a reaction to something SO unbelievable. You can use this when you are so in shock don't know what else to say. Works every time.

...I'd like to have a word with whoever created it. Like, who what when where why. And how.

7. Aw, bless your heart!

A quick phrase to make literally any insult sound endearing.

8. Get your foot outta your mouth!

In other words, "THAT, my friend, was a(n) inappropriate/stupid/dumb/ridiculous thing to say and you cannot bounce back from that. Idiot."

9. Don't take a piss on my back and then tell me it's raining!

If someone says this to you, they don't actually think you took a piss on their back. But you are in trouble.

You can use this phrase when someone who OBVIOUSLY hurt/betrayed/lied to you, lies even more to get out of more trouble. Make sense?

10. Hit the bushes!

Have you ever been drunk and had to pee so so bad so you decided to, uh, "Hit the bushes?"

Yeah...me neither...

On that note, I think that's a good lesson for today. I feel quite educated and accomplished. Mostly because I was able to squeeze a pic of Harry Styles in here.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?