You never got balloons at school like all the other cool kids.
And you didn't get a special class dedication with a song or cupcakes.
Once the school year ended, you didn't even see half the people till next year.
The Cancer zodiac sign is complete bullshit.
It's always so effing hot outside. You could actually bake cookies in your car.
So you have boring birthday parties indoors.
Or at the pool, where it's so ridiculously crowded you can't even breathe.
You may even try a theme park, and then realize EVERYONE ON THE PLANET IS ALREADY THERE.
What's worse is when people just flat out don't show up.
Because it's summer and they already have vacation plans.
Or they're doing something work-related in another city.
You don't even get that many Facebook birthday wishes because everyone is outside.
And presents are a rare occasion.
You always seem to be the youngest in your class/group of friends.
Which means everyone could drive before you.
And drink before you.
And you eventually got tired of being the DD.
You're basically just always sweaty and alone.
And your birthday never seems to go as planned.